Yours Truly

Yours Truly
Janet Fauble at home

Tuesday, February 28, 2012

The Artist and Descendants (Spoiler)

I went to the movies today. I wanted to see A Week With Marilyn but there are only two showings for the film so I decided to see The Artist. Am Happy that I did do that. The obsession with Marilyn Monroe annoys me anyway but I thought it might be a good flick. That Artist is much better than I had expected.

I was an hour early so I decided to see the last part of the movie Descendants and came in at the time when George Clooney's role confronts the man who had had an affair with his wife ( who lies dying in her hospital bed) and so I was able to get into the drift of this story. At the end of the film, George and his children take the ashes of his wife out to sea in front of a magnificent Honolulu setting and throw them into the sea.

I had had a dream of my mother this morning. She came to me looking like she had when I was a student at Michigan State University, dressed up in a hat and suit as she had one time when she brought me a birthday cake to celebrate my birthday.

Dreams shift around and next part of dream I remember is I am driving and won't let her drive...she had wanted to drive but I said, No, that I would do it...end of dream.
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So when I see the ashes I think of my dad having taken my mother's ashes and thrown them out somewhere in the neighborhood in one of the parks, which slightly still annoys the dickens out of me. I do have the urn yet though.

So then I am enjoying the movie The Artist totally as the star in it is name of Peppy Miller, and a Penelope Ann Miller is starring in this movie somewhere also. My mother's name is Ann and her maiden name is Miller, so I am thinking oh, so that is why the dream. And the cars in the movie make me think of her dad, my grand dad who owned a big sleek fancy car like one of those seen in this movie just before the great Depression. I am realizing all of a sudden through this movie how really rich he must have been.

He wasn't that way when I knew him.

And yes, I knew him well.

Another name that popped up is Doris played by Penelope Ann Miller. (That is for the benefit of Danny, David, and Bryce Miller whose mother's name is Doris. She married my uncle Frank, who is my mother's youngest brother.)
Anyway, at the end of the movie Georg Valentin decides to take a gun and use it to commit suicide which naturally made me think of my dad who also had used a gun to try to commit suicide. Both survived...my dad and George.
George sticks the gun in his mouth, my dad put his to his temple, costing him his good eye.

But the final scene in the movie made me think of my cousin Willard and myself in Clearwater, Florida when we did our dance number together...I saw through this lighthearted film all right. Knowing who your Hollywood friends are, as they say. Willard is a cousin on my dad's side of the family. He was a song and dance man when he was a young man, played on the stage with a guy name of Frank. They grew up in Vaudeville.


TATA I love this movie...it is wonderful!

Wednesday, February 22, 2012

Hashtags at Twitter

I finally learned about those pesky little hashtags...I tried the amwriting at Twitter a few minutes ago. (This particular computer just is my enemy it would seem as soon as I put something on here to be published some key wipes it off and that is making me furious. I like netbook for its size and its convenience , but in many other ways, this particular netbook is a pain in the ass.)Now back to hashtags which are indicated by the symbol # with some word or phrase following it to signal that you are a part of a group that is identified by the word and symbol known as hashtag. #amwriting is a group of writers who share information with one another. I learned of several others, amediting, amreading, agent, pubtip,indie, writegoal, all preceded by #. Try it. You will like it.

I just reread my recommendation of The Alexander Cipher that I wrote at Alexander-Macedon and it is better than the one I wrote at this blogspot though both essentially say the same thing.

I will give it all away now. The tomb is found, they decide that the man in the tomb is Alexander as his scars are evident, something I find preposterous to consider. It is fiction so he can say it but in reality, no such thing could possibly occur which is why Body of Proof showed a cadaver aged so that nothing could be identified on it and it was only months old, and to think that a body after 3,000 years would show anything is utterly stupid...Mummification is a procedure that does not prevent decay. I simply personally believe that Alexander was cremated by his wisest friends who knew that he would be used and subjected to all kinds of humiliations if not cremated. Cremation had other merits than just getting rid of a potentially diseased body.

Then to top it off, after spending all this time, money, heartwrenching events of kidnapping, being held hostage, having one's friend killed, etc., the jerk (our hero) goes and dumps the entire thing into the canal so that the bad guys cannot take it out of the country. What a thing to do! I ask ya! Even a sane novelist would think better of his hero, his goal, than to just up and dump it....a watery grave after the millenia of being hidden away for the ages...ouch, I hated it!


Oh, but the author does let us believe that the people in whose hands he has to leave the corpse will pull it out of the canal. Admittedly, his character had little choice but I thought it to be a dreadful end to the legend of Alexander. No wonder there are many who hope that it will never be discovered. Here he had lain for centuries undisturbed to be dragged out, hoisted onto a truck, carried all the way from Siwa to Cairo to be thrown into the sea. Outrageous and insulting!

Tuesday, February 21, 2012

Book Recommendation The Alexander Cipher

Will Adams has written a book called The Alexander Cipher, a story of a search for the tomb of Alexander the Great. Main characters in the book are Daniel Knox, a deep sea diver/archaeologist, Gaille Dumas or Gaille Bonnard,interpreter, photographer, Mohammed el-Duhab, a construction worker, Ibraham Beyumi, the head of the Supreme Council for Antiquities in Egypt, Augustin Pascal, a French archaeologist, Elena Koloktronis, the head of an archaeological firm, and Philip and Nicholas Dragoumis, Macedonian patriots and entrepreneurs (gangsters).Hassan Assuyuti is the powerful boss of Daniel Knox who is moonlighting by working for Hassan as a deepsea diver. Nessin is Hassan's security chief who has the job of searching for Daniel when he gets into trouble with his boss.

The plot is simple. While archaeologists strive to find the elusive Alexander the Great's gravesite, Daniel Knox eludes his former boss, Hassan, who wants to get revenge on Daniel for having humiliated him by punching him out over an incident where Hassan was forcibly raping a young girl who got in over her head by coming aboard his yacht. So Daniel is on the run, hiding away in Egypt while Nessim and his men try to find him to satisfy Hassan's desire for revenge. When he runs to Alexandria to avoid Hassan's men, he hides out with Pascal, a Frenchman who is willing to help. This book is very strange in that for a man who is on the run, he has many friends in Egypt to whom he can turn at a whim to help him. During a construction job, Mohammed happens to find a site that appears to be Macedonian so that he has to alert the Egyptian officials. In the meantime, Elena has been digging in Siwa and has had to have Gaille, an assistant, sent to Alexandria to interpret the language that is found on the unusual site found in the building that Mohammed is tearing down. Mohammed has a dying daughter who needs a bone marrow transplant, and some of the story deals with the problem of finding doctors, donors, and money to help save his dying daughter. Gaille's father who is an archaeologist also had been the partner to Daniel Knox when Mitchell fell to his death. When Gaille and Daniel meet, Daniel is using a false name so that when he is with her, he learns how much she actually dislikes him and blames him for her father's death. When he finally admits to her that he is Daniel she is very angry at him. Naturally, the two of them fall in love over the course of this tale where both are taken hostage, held against their will, and with the help of many friends, get themselves in and out of trouble from Siwa to Alexandria to Cairo. Elena and Augustin Pascal have a sexy romance until she finds him cheating on her, but never mind, she has always been in love with her husband anyway. Nicholas and Philip learn of the archaelogical find which has Elena and Gaille helping Mohammed and Ibrahim. Money is needed for all these archaeological digs so Philip and Nicholas help to provide the funds, and travel all the way from Thessaloniki Greece to see if indeed Alexander's gravesite has been found.

In the meantime, Daniel is still outwitting Hassan and his security group, but he is in deep trouble with the Greek pair who hate him worse than his former boss does. At last, the gravesite is found, Mohammed has been blackmailed into helping the bad guys because of his daughter, and so that brings the entire group together in Siwa to see if they can find the gravesite of Alexander. From this point on this story gets a bit strange...Mohammed turns out to be a bit of a hero, but is forced against his will to help dig the new found treasure, Daniel's jeep saves the day for him, probably the most endearing symbol in the story, as he rushes in to save the day for himself and his love, Gaille, who is being held hostage at gun point.

Daniel tries to find a way to thrwart the evil Macedonian Nicholas who is bent upon stealing this treasure from Egypt and taking it back to Macedonia where it rightfully belongs. Not being greedy, the Greeks take only the prized object found but make Mohammed dig it up for them. All of Egypt's security forces soon learn of this travesty and are about to take all the Greeks into custody when Daniel finds a way to save the day....this story is as implausible as any that can be imagined...and the way that he saves the day is ridiculous but what the heck, the story has to end somehow or other.

Should I give it away? During all this long winding tale of man on the run, the story of Alexander the Great is told through various people's explanations to one another. Adams has used a mystery to teach some historical facts that historians tell each other all the time. So does he show respect for Alexander? Not by his method of building us to a huge climax to have it all go down as it does...No, it is a bad ending. Sorry but I do not like the ending at all....so it goes.

Friday, February 17, 2012

A really rough week

I have all kinds of things which I keep bottled up inside and won't let out even in a blog. I have been reading many blogs, most about historical people who in all truth only a few fanatical type people really like to read. I keep up with a few but end up finding them very boring as well. But since I am into the past myself at times, I will share this tidbit here.

I wish I could draw or paint well. I can paint passably portraits and even do some sketches halfway decently but none good enough to be called artistic.

I had a vision of Alexander last evening. I have had what is called spontaneous memories many times, and I am not sure that memory is always the correct term for some things that I do experience. But last night (and most occur when resting and often in bed) I was trying to get to sleep but was thinking about the lottery game when I saw Alexander on a horse. He was dressed in full armor as he was about to lead in some battle and I cannot say which one, but this appearance really impressed me. I can still see it in my mind as I try to keep these incidents as alive as long as possible.

He was wearing a beautiful silver cuirass which was ornamental as it had many engraved reliefs, but it shone so brightly that it reminded me of the helmet that I had once seen which shone so brightly (that was for Gaugemela I am sure) but in this he was inspecting something around his leg and the dressings upon his horse. He was so confident, so relaxed and sure that I gained an insight into him. He had his helmet on with white plumes accenting the silvery helmet also...He was truly spectacular and this set of armor would have been quite an expensive and intensive piece of work to have accomplished. It showed me how much in real regard he is held by others who work for him, as well as his attitude came out so strongly to me....I cannot explain how these things occur but they do impact me and give me some insights into myself.

One thing is for sure, Alexander is one who knew how to conduct himself, and I could sense why it is that people relied upon him and his leadership, seldom ever questioning it. He had that youthful certainty that clearly defined his ability to rule.

Tuesday, February 14, 2012

Valentine's Day, 2012

I had to take all my plants indoors last evening since the weathergirl forecast cold and rain. Sadly, she was correct as dark gloomy clouds swept into the region late today bringing with it low temperatures so that it was cold outside. I stayed indoors all day as a result, besides having been up til four o'clock in the morning. I could not get to sleep last night and so was up and down until finally I wore myself out and fell asleep shortly after 4 in the morning. I slept til 11 then and got up unable to get around at all. I was so slow, tired, and dragged out that I did little but reread my novel which I had just printed, and rechecked my lottery game.

It turns out that I won't be able to play the lottery game until March. I have to be able to work it so that I don't lose anything so it will take me that long to get this thing brought under control.

I wish I could make it happen, but lotteries are contemptibly difficult. The number 3 is cold right now and recently, most of the cold numbers have begun to hit. 3 and 15 are the two that have not hit in recent draws so there is always the chance that one or the other will come in tomorrow night.

I have decided to maintain the logging in of the numbers but will have to wait until I have enough ready cash to spend to bet on it. So I am sticking with horses right now.

There is a contest on to name to the foal of Rachel Alexandra and Curlin. Nice prize for the winner to go to the farm to tour and see the horses. That is quite a worthwhile prize but to have the name that you chose picked for a horse means a lot to me.

I am inclined towards the father's name Curlin coupled with the owner's name who has passed away, Jesse. Alexandra is overused so much that it would be nice to hear Jesse Curlin coming down the stretch.

I may submit it. Doubt that it would be chosen but I like the sounds of it.

Sunday, February 12, 2012

Birthday

Yes, I turned 73 yesterday, and even took a picture of self to post on facebook for a ten year lookback if I make it to 83. I have a couple from childhood that I took of self so that it is always intriguing to see how age affects us...frankly, never as much as you would think...all those images that are presented to us do not really happen.

Truthfully, physical pain is more noticeable as time passes for I realize that the joints, muscles, and spine do twinge enough to make me notice them. For many years, I was very lucky not to have any aches or pains...not so any longer...I feel them all right, sleep later, seem to need more sleep, and honestly eat less than when I was younger. You would think I would lose weight, but hormones or whatever do not bring that about at all. I have not changed weight wise in the past 30 years.

Hope is still strong to achieve some of my goals before I die syndrome...want to travel worldwide and want to write a novel or two if I can get the right computer for that goal.

So all in all, 73 is not much different from yesterday at 72...probably time creeps up on us so that we don't always realize it...but I do fight it a lot with hair color, as the gray is a sure clue, and I am getting more and more. The wrinkles do appear also but only slightly yet...

I think the worst part of age is tiredness and memory losses...they happen frequently...so it goes...now to take on the world for another ten years...

Tuesday, February 7, 2012

Book Review of Memnon by Scott Oden

Years ago Scott Oden published a book on Memnon of Rhodes, a mercenary soldier who is famous mostly for having given Alexander the Great a rough time of it at two battles in Alexander's history: Granicus and Hallicarnassus. He also had known Alexander when Alexander was a child as it is often mentioned about the ambassadors from Persia who came to see about Artabazus and Memnon in exile at Pella, King Philip's Palace in Macedon.

I know nothing about Scott until I sent Marcus Pailing a copy of my first draft on Alexander, and Scott and some other authors dropped in to make comments about it. So far as I know, Scott has not seen my first draft since it was only available to be read at Alexander-Macedon discussion group.

Because Marcus Pailing had reviewed another childhood book on Kindle by Amazon which had some features similar to mine, I had asked him to read mine to see if there was any chance that they were similar in any way except for timelines.

He apparently perused it to let me know that there was no likely chance that they are alike. I do not know if he has read much of mine or not. Ann Katrin is reading it thoroughly, that I do know, and I learned how important that had been to me.

At any rate, due to Scott's being kind enough to make comments about the possible book I might finally deliver, I decided to read his book Memnon.

Scott is a great writer for those who love military history, battles, and even romance. Surprisingly enough, he is also a very accomplished writer of vivid details regarding background, landscapes, paraphernalia such as uniforms, minutiae such as coins and artwork, subtleties in observation that create mood and texture to the novel.

He has created a Memnon who is both admirable and heroic to a point, but who falls flat finally when one realizes that he is more a caricature of other famous Greek literary figures, Paris and Odysseus than truly being developed fully in character and substance as a great man. He has the potential but inevitably fails.

He has written a great fight scene that holds my attention to the finish. Memnon opens in his homeland of Rhodes, in which we learn of the expectation for Memnon to become a great heroic character, another Alcibiades if you will, which is his father, Timocrates, dream. Little is actually known historically of Memnon's family and past, but this fictitious introduction creates a Memnon who thinks for himself, and does not live up to his father's dreams for him. Memnon simply wants to put out to see with Patron, a sailor, and sets out to do just that...However, Rhodes is in trouble, and a great battle breaks out between the Persians and the Rhodian democrats so that we early on gain the sense of the strength and power of Memnon who takes on all comers to handle his opponents deftly and courageously. Oden is extremely capable and talented in his raising Memnon to heroic proportions.

Romance is also part of this novel in which Memnon is likened to both Paris and Odysseus with the introduction of a daughter of Artabazus, Barsine, who eventually becomes his version of Helen or Penelope. Barsine is an interesting character for me personally as she is also the mistress of Alexander who bears a child, Heracles, (Hercules) by him. However, before Alexander, she has had to be the wife of two brothers, Mentor and Memnon. Scott develops the reason for the two marriages, and uses her as the cause of the story to honor Memnon's memory through the narration of his tale and life.

If you are not familiar with the story of Helen of Troy, the most beautiful woman in the world, you will not understand why it is that Memnon apologizes for his earlier contempt of Paris who had to steal a wife from another man, but realizes why when he sees Barsine as a beauty worthy enough to warrant stealing her...apologies are due to Paris for his theft of Helen from her homeland...Penelope is the faithful wife of Odysseus who waits patiently for his return and foils her admirers with her weaving to wait her husbands return so again Barsine is likened to the faithful wife and the wandering distant spouse. Scott is obviously a very romantic man in his concept of Memnon and Barsine...using this as a way of also attacking Alexander in the final stages of love.

All this caught my attention as I am writing my own version of Barsine and Alexander and have cast her as a kind of forbidden love to the young Alexander who also sees her great beauty and charm long before he is finally able to have her as his own mistress/wife?

Scott does use the author's so called privilege to alter a few facts of history...if there are truly such things as bona fide facts...one is regarding Pausanias and the other is regarding Hermeias...both are integral to my version so it became obvious to me when he rerouted the stories a bit, to have Memnon guilty of capturing and torturing and chaining Hermeias...In reality, Memnon is responsible for Hermeias being taken to Susa to be tortured there by the King, not by Memnon. He is said to have been crucified there and this is very important to understand that Hermeias, a eunuch, whose niece is married to Aristotle, was the patron of Aristotle at that time. Aristotle was so outraged at the barbaric act waged against Hermeias that it impacted the young students, Alexander, especially, at Mieza. So the reality is such that Aristotle would never have treated Memnon kindly at all had they chanced to meet. However, Scott does pervert history a bit with both the stories of Pausanias and Hermeias to suit his narrative about Memnon.

Nothing wrong with that unless you are totally ignorant of the historical version and believe that fiction is more powerful than fact/truth.

I admit I am a bit rigid in sticking to the truth while developing the story. In Scott's tale, Barsine has a daughter by each one of the brothers, but in reality, the only child mentioned that is hers is Heracles, son of Alexander.

On that note, since at this site I do mention my previous insights into the past through my memory recollections, I will say that I had seen Heracles, a beautiful golden haired child who looks like Alexander as a child as well, and I am certain of Barsine's carefully correct appearance as a Persian lady as well. Interesting to me that it is Barsine who always wears hair coverings of veils while Roxanne always has her hair long and free, as has had Olympias.

I digressed a bit but this is after all my blog so I feel free to note these things as I go along.

Anyway,Memnon soon becomes a kind of character that one realizes is the foe of Alexander as written by Scott Oden. While Memnon will not allow his soldiers to malign Alexander, Scott does put words in their mouths that sound more like commentary from today's current critics rather than those of yesteryear...I do not believe that any soldier would have said some of the things that he has put in their mouth. In that sense, he slipped into a lapse of time periods.

He follows the history fairly well with the demise of the Rhodian whose fate is to learn that Zeus, god of the Greeks, favors Alexander's role in history rather than his. I liked Scott's book, but I would imagine that those who were opposed to Alexander in his conquests were as mean and nasty as was General Memnon. I rather imagine many made the mistake of underestimating the youthful Alexander in his determination to attain his dream and goal. At least, General Memnon does recognize the daemon in Alexander that qualified him as a true heroic leader.

There is both disdain and admiration for Philip's son who will soon be the ruler of the entire Asian kingdom, including all of Egypt, Greece, Macedon, Persia, and surrounding nations. Through Memnon's eyes, we get a glimpse of the future King of the World. While Memnon rebukes Alexander's offer of friendship in Oden's book, I rather doubt that Alexander would have recognized him as anything but a foe due to the role he had played in the affair of Hermeias and Aristotle. Aristotle is like a second father to Alexander, and knowing that Memnon had been responsible for Hermeias's demise would have angered Alexander. In that respect, I will have to challenge Scott on his altering the truth in that way.

However, I found the book fun to read as I liked all the descriptions of locations, armament, fight scenes, and hardness in Memnon's character. I would not have it any other way...

Alexander got Neutered today

I am not one fit for surgery as I am always over hyper anxious about not having stitches get infected, pulled, or otherwise turn bad on me so I had quite a time with Alexander when we got home...he wants to lick his wounds and I won't let him since I have instructions which say specifically do not lick or chew wound...finally, I gave him some pain medicine and he is fast asleep. Poor little guy. He has been put through a lot today.

And naturally, Sandra would call while I was at Starbucks waiting to go to the vet to get him...I met a nice clerk at the Starbucks which is next to the shopping center by the vet's office. I was able to work on computer with their free wifi and have a long tall caramel machiatto and was I ever a bit disturbed at the guy who made it as I know very well that they can be blended but he just wanted to stir it...did not like him...

But since I bought a big one I stayed awhile til it was done and as I am a slow drinker, I was able to get quite a bit done on my computer.

They want me to buy an e collar but I did not do it...I made some homemade stuff. i bought a microchip for him even though he is a house cat. I had heard a story of a cat reunited with his family after getting lost and it was only due to the microchip that they were able to find the family. Cats can jump out of cars in case of accident and get lost, so while I do not think that will ever happen, I would also have proof he is mine if someone stole him from me. So I bought it as I expect him to live for many years.

He is waking up now. He had been sleeping...He is psychic and seems to know whenever I think of him...One of us is for sure as whenever I am thinking of him he usually jumps onto the bed to walk all over me...He cannot and should not jump now til he is fully healed.

Sunday, February 5, 2012

Super Bowl Sunday continued

I have returned to my apartment after watching the superbowl game at the clubroom. Nobody was there for a long time until late in the fourth quarter when a woman tried to get in the door...I let her in and reminded her to get her cards to open the door. We have no passkeys made to get in and out of the clubhouse since someone had stolen a t.v. there. It now locks itself automatically. It took me awhile to learn the art of turning on lights everywhere.

Boston might never ever understand the way the game turned after I saw the NYTimes enter the news feed at facebook with a live blog discussion so being curious I went to the site to see how it worked, and joined in the discussion. It was kind of fun to watch the game and be able to make comments. I read them as fast as they came on and even entered some of my own.
in
I had read this story of a camel who has picked the winners of games, so I was basing my taking sides in the game on his prediction. He turned out to be right after all. The Giants did finally come up to win after I entered the Times discussion group. If this sounds repetitious it is because I am in a different environment which always affects the way I write and think.

Has facebook ever revealed and exposed the number of unhappy campers in the world who like to say mean, nasty things on the comment sections. I never knew that people could be so obscene, negative, mean, ugly, killer, and demonic until I read these comments at Facebook.

And this about a super bowl game...super bowl is two words I learned today but I continue to write it both ways.

Super Bowl Sunday

I am using the clubhouse to see the superbowl since I do not have a t.v. of my own to watch this on. I have a tiny ten inch digital on which I get a few channels but nbc is not one of them any longer. In fact, I did purchase it to see the olympics years ago but because of the location for some reason some channels dropped out of the reception area...we have a nice t.v. in the clubhouse now and I was all alone for awhile but recently a lady came in. She kept trying to get in with her keys but they have changed the locks so one mst have a pass card to get in. I opened the door for her to come in so she is here watching the game with me,
Can't tell what is going on now as someone fumbled the ball but the Giants have recovered it. I spend the time watching commercials and write during the ballgame so I never know what is happening in the game much unless it is so noisy I have to check. But she is reacting now so I know that it is getting pretty exciting.

I finally found pinterest thanks to Sandra Gulland. It is another new thing on the internet to get pictures on the net. I often wonder about how all these groups make the money that they do through these activities. I have enough to do just keeping up with facebook and my discussion groups and mail. I can't devote my whole life to a computer system.

but Sandr had an interesting video on publishers and agents that frankly is enough to scare the hell out of anyone. I had not thought that that is the way that publishers and agents look and sound so that it frankly annoyed the daylights out of me to think it. Getting a book written is difficult enough to do but to have to put up with shitty publishing firms may be more of a problem than I had previously thought. Thanks, Sandra, I needed to see the insides of what could be an attitude.
I will close to see the remainder of the game.

Louis XIV as Alexander the Great

I have a book called Ages of Kings which is a book about the times of King Louis XIV.  It was through my spirit guide that I learned of Alexander after I had learned of Louis XIV.   I later found this book and this tapestry.  It has always amused me.   Alexander and Louis bear no resemblance to one another at all physically but the information that I learned from within about
each has created this intense interest in each one of them.  I continue to investigate both kings avidly.


Wednesday, February 1, 2012

the power of Memnon

Today I went to the local Phoenix library known as Burton Barr to get a book by Scott Oden called Memnon. General Memnon is a Greek mercenary who actually fights for King Darius of Persia. He is a general who Alexander met at his own home when Memnon was held captive by King Philip. Alexander was only seven years old at that time for it is the time that the Persian ambassadors and delegation came to obtain the release of Memnon and two others who were also being held captive. It is possible that Alexander then met Barsine who was Memnon's wife, as some historians maintain that most likely Alexander had met up with her when he was a child before he finally obtained her as a spoil of war. He later became enamored with her so that there is some dispute whether she was mistress or wife but she did bear him his first child. Incidentally, when I asked for proof that I had been Alexander in yesteryear, his child Heracles, or Hercules, is one of the visions that I recall vividly giving him some proof. Also I did see Barsine who was wearing a heavy shawl or veil over her head in the custom of the then Persian women. She was who I believe probably influenced Alexander most in his adoption of Persian attire which aroused so much annoyance with his army.

Oh my, I started to tell how I had to go from point a several miles by bus to get the rail to go many more miles to Burton Barr just to get this book which I have begun to read. I digress a lot at times.

In the process I nearly got myself killed...I had just written a post to my friend Joan telling how yesterday I had thought I was going to die...I was in a dream and found myself falling into a black abyss of some kind and I knew that if I fell I would die, so something nudged me back up to wake up and an inner voice told me, No, you are not going to die...you are going to be well and I forced myself up out of my sleep and to walk to Basha's to get some bread. The point is that as I felt as though I were going to die, I felt the freedom that accompanies death, free from all earthly matters, but I did not want to die...so I guess I made myself get up...then at the library I found this awful film called Black Swan which I have started but put on hold because of its psychodrama....wheee...I understood too well where this film is going now but am not quite ready for it.

However, all of that made me know that I must put my house in order. yet today when getting off the train, I was very bad girl. I actually ran out in front of the train. The engineer did not like it, blew his whistle, and then I ran out into oncoming cars and ran so fast as lightning which was all very exhilirating despite the near calamity of it all...I was truly crazy to do that I admit and I said to myself, bad girl, I am not suicidal at all...and I am not but I had not counted on cars coming so fast at me...a girl saw me and caught up with me who said she liked how I did that...I was fast as lightning when I saw those cars coming at me...I could have been hit...so afterward, I waited for all lights before crossing, my form of repentance for past sins...don't we always do that?

This Alexander thing has a real hold on me, doesn't it seem?

Oh, I laugh at myself all the time about my former lives...Right now, on that note, too, abovetopsecret is saying that the photos of bin Laden's corpse may be released soon. I wish that they would be. I would like to see them, gruesome or not.

Will close at this point...I have spent too much time on broadband.