Yours Truly

Yours Truly
Janet Fauble at home

Thursday, October 31, 2013

Breeder's Cup Friday

I am writing this to help clear my mind about these horses and to justify my bets when I make them.  I have followed both TVG and HRN to pick the brains of the handicappers there.   I was rather surprised at some of the choices.

I divided the horses into Morning Line odds to better understand the favorites from long shots.   A long shot does always hit but finding which one is like finding a needle in a haystack if you don't know how to pick it.

I also then separated the jockey riding the horse from one another with those same odds so as to get an idea how to figure which horse might have the advantage of a top jock to guide him to the winner's circle.

I learned that some jockeys will be riding their butts off while most will be riding only one or two races.  It broke down that John Velasquez will be riding more than any other jockey followed by Mike Smith. Both are riding favorites which will most likely win.  John V has Wise Dan while Mike S has Game On Dude.  Mike S also has Royal Delta.  In that race, John V will be riding Close Hatches.

Listening to the handicappers does expose the fact that some handicappers take the game seriously enough to really help the viewer. I was impressed with both TVG and HRN tonight.  It gave me some horses to consider that I had not yet discovered.

Friday's races include the Marathon, the Dirt Mile, Juvenile Fillies Turf, Juvenile Turf, and Distaff.

My first thought picks are the following: London Bridge, Verrazano, Vorda, Giovanni Boldini, and Princess of Sylmar.  First thought means that I can change my mind if I think of it but for the moment this is where I stand.  I honestly think that Royal Delta may win the Distaff but I am also thinking about the supplementary fee that put Princess of Sylmar into the race.  She is one red hot horse who I think could do it again to Royal Delta.
The Marathon worries me the most. I wanted to go with Ever Ready,  a horse from Argentina ridden by Gary Stevens.  But favorites never win this race.  In a superfecta I would couple Ever Ready with several other horses to maybe pick up the first four.  That would include Old Time Hockey, London Bridge, Ever Ready, and Commander.  I will now go read the pp's of all those horses and change my mind at least three or four times before finally deciding.

I have liked Verrazano from his earliest racing days.  I acknowledge there are others in that race that could be a threat. Brujo de Olleros is one that was mentioned a lot on t.v.  And Holy Lute is a longshot with Mike Smith aboard.  Both are long so I am considering them...all thinking aloud.  Indecision is always the lot of a horse bettor when not totally certain.






Monday, October 28, 2013

Internet connections

I am so tired of the internet and wifi connections and wireless and computers period.  I have had way too many problems with my internet connection here and it is annoying me no end.  I have had to call Century Link I don't know how many times just to get connected again and while the technicians are always helpful, it does not make me happy one bit.

Sunday, October 27, 2013

The Golden Mean by Annabel Lyon

I had heard of this book years ago but I had forgotten about it and had never read it. I had read that it had been a story about Aristotle and his student Alexander.

I decided to tackle this same project of Alexander years ago, and I am still in the process of writing it.  So lately while thinking of his feeble minded elder brother Arrhideus, I went on a search to find all that i could find on the internet connections pertaining to Arrhideus.  His mother is not Olympias, however, and so they are actually half brothers.  In the process, I was reminded of this book that someone had told me about so I decided to see if I could find it. I thought maybe I should read it to see what it is about.

I just finished it.  I do not like it but it is engrossing.  SPOILER ALERT!  The language she employs to describe her characters and their actions is often too graphic and vivid for my tastes.  The character of Alexander is disturbing and destructive.  It is a horrible young child that she imagines, and it is often in conflict with his positive qualities.  She describes Alexander so badly that I developed a strong dislike for her and her evil pen.

But it did awaken my mind to the fact that there are many people who do peceive Alexander in a light that astounds me.  It also makes me wonder again and again at all the many episodes in which I have relived his life as I have.  I am now aware that there may be a good reason for me to know all those experiences as I have had more than I had ever considered.  I had no idea that anyone would ever paint such an ugly portrait of him.  She has him decapitating a dead body just to win the approval of a dramatist. Later, she has him go mad in battle, with his attempting to skin the head of a dead man.  I found all that repugnant and false to my understanding of Alexander's training to become a warrior.

The book is despicable in that respect.  She does develop the story of a feeble minded elder brother and as I had had my own drama regarding a discussion between Alexander and Arrhideus I found her description to be too damaged.  In my own interpretation, Arrhideus and Alexander talk together openly about the differences between them, which is rather poignant...He is not quite so impaired in my version as he is in her story.  So that bothered me a lot.

But mine is yet to be written, accepted, and published...I realized that she is drawing on the depths of hell, while I acknowledge all the hell that is around, I am also drawing on the powers of the gods and the divinity that is in Alexander. He is also perceived as a religious man who was carefully taught all the rites and rituals of the Holy Man.

At the very end, she seems to try to tidy up her own mess by tying a neat little bow in her package of opposites, a balancing act she calls it.  Gradually, she leads us through the drudgery of teaching, schooling, battles, and then at last, release....Aristotle is free to move from Pella but meets with both Alexander and Arrhideus to realize that not only has he fathered a daughter and a son from two wives but also has in a sense fathered Alexander and Arrhideus as well.  Perhaps the author is close to correct in that conclusion...end of story....too tidy for such a messy walk through Aristotle's version of the story of the court of Philip of Macedon and Alexander.


I do not really recommend this book because I honestly do not believe that Aristotle would write this way nor do I believe that Alexander is a seriously dangerous and disturbed young boy.   It is odd to consider that she finally at the end lets Aristotle realize that he has loved...not only his wife, but also Alexander, and even his second wife...the author delights in using shock to prejudice a reader into a false belief.  

Friday, October 25, 2013

Letting off steam

This computer world may be the death of me yet.  It is the most exasperating problem that the modern world has had to suffer.  I am venting because i had to call Century Link again tonight to get wifi service working again.  Fortunately, that company is full of very nice technicians or service people who are able to get everything working as it should. I can literally do nothing from this end.

Because I had so much trouble with viruses and malware at Windows on my Gateway I finally decided to buy an Apple computer which supposedly has fewer problems. I had had my computer hacked not one time but several, and I had viruses. Once you have one virus, it seems that even though it may be cleaned out, it really never is so that the attacks occur again and again.  I eventually did use microsoft essentials as none of the others were really effective but simply costly.  Windows is one company I do not recommend due to the number of viruses.  If Google does come up with a way to prevent viruses which it is supposed to have done in its Samsung Chrome computer then that would be great.  But I do not know as I did not purchase that machine.

I went with Apple and as I have been taking one to one classes, I have learned more and more about the computer than anyone can imagine. I like it very much and recommend it very highly.  But because I am tonight having problem with a print job I am upset about what is going on.

However, I shall try another print job to see if I can get the printer working again.  I have had no luck in resuming the job that I had started because it keeps going back to the beginning which I do not want. I do not know what is to blame for that.

Then tonight my wifi went out on me as it had done one other time before.  I had to call Century Link again to get it started and the guy did do something at his end that he said would make certain that it would not happen again.  I did see the tool symbol bob up and down, so it had something to do with the Mac Computer.  What the heck? He was nice. His name was Lee.  This is to remind myself when I may have to refer back to this journal if need be.

I feel better now that I have vented. Today has been a rough day.  I did not need this to happen at the end of this day.

Something that I learned from Scrivener while I am at this business of unloading today's problems because that is one of them is that believe it or not, their program is based upon Hilary Montel's description of her method of writing a book.  When using Scrivener we are all copying and using Hilary's methods.  She apparently uses index notes, then posts them on a cork board, then places them in a binder.  Guess what...that is the program that Scrivener uses.  Huh!

Now if I can get this job begun I will be happy.  But I am going to take the plunge on both Pages and Scrivener.  One of them will work for me or maybe both.


Wednesday, October 23, 2013

Ouija Boards

Today there was  a strange post on Facebook claiming that Satan's tools included ouija boards.

People who  are consumed with strange stories and tales about Satan and God imagine all kinds of nonsensical theories.  A ouija board as such is simply a planchette and a board with letters, yes and no, and requires the use of two people who together can hold their hands steady on the planchette while letting some spiritual entity control the movements of the  planchette to answer questions asked of the ouija board.

I have used a ouija board with maybe two people in my life, and both times, when relaxed enough, the ouija board does lend itself to mystical forces or powers at work.  The planchette moves speedily atop the board spelling out answers or going directly to yes or no.

What causes this planchette, a small arrow headed device with a needle on it, to move is more than I can say but I know that it did move when I used it with my mother and my friend Diane.

I often thought it was my mother's subconscious at work because I would never have said some of the things that it said to me, and often we were not sure to whom it was speaking anyway.  But the thing did move to spell out answers, none of which were ever true or accurate, so far as I know.  I did ask it pointed questions many times.  It frankly at times was quite rude and insolent.

I never thought it a tool  that Satanic forces would use.  The only connection between it and the devil so far as I could see is that it was unbelievable.  I never took it seriously but would use it on rare occasions just to watch it move all over the board. It is fun to see things that boggle the mind.

Tonight Nightline had some show about an exorcist who was able to cure a boy's crying.   Not sure that it cured his stomach ache.  People are superstitious and impressionable.  I watched the episode and don't have anything to say as to whether the kid was in need of a good scare or what, but something did work to calm him down.  It earned them a bit of airtime on ABC.  Not always trusting ABC in its shows though.

But as far as ouija boards are concerned, there really is little to fear.  It is only a board and a needle.  Why get upset about it?  And why think that people who use them or have them are in leagues with the devil?  For shame!  It is only a curiosity.

Tuesday, October 22, 2013

Car Wash

O.K. So it looks like I have neglected my car.  Dirt and dust has accumulated with rain spots on the rear so that finally I took the plunge.  I had to have my car washed.

I have sat at Danny's Carousel car wash watching the attendants wipe down the cars after they are put through the automatic process of being sprayed, washed, rinsed, and then vacuumed.  I noticed how well these car wipers performed, and then I read all kinds of advice about protecting your car from harsh brushes, and bad towels that can become like sandpaper when misused.

I hit the internet to see what kind of car washes could be found in my region.  The reviews were so negative that I did not know which to use.  I finally found one that had positive reviews. Every comment was favorable.  And what is more, it is right near to where I live, at least close enough for me to get to it easily late this afternoon.

Bubbles is its name.  It is on Oak right next to a laundry mat that I once won a scratch ticket with matching numbers so that I have never forgotten it.

I decided to try it, and so took my complimentary car wash kit that Chapman had given us at our Saturday meeting. It had a microfiber cloth in it to use.  That is all I took. What did I know?

Sure enough, it is right next to the laundramat and so I drove into it to find five small stalls all equipped with a wand and a brush, and a chart that explains all the varieties of washes that one can use.  There is a little gadget that one uses to select which operation one wants to use, and so I took my dollars and changed them into tokens at a vending machine.

There were two cars and one truck already getting washed so I parked my car to watch each one of them to see what they were doing.  The first guy was already into rinse, and told me about the vending machines.  He was at the end of his job.

So I went to the next guy who was scrubbing down a yellow corvette with a sudsing brush and I watched him, then asked him some questions. He was nice enough to tell me that I could wash my car for probably only $5.00 and that it was easy to do. He said that he travels 19 miles to use this particular wash because he does not want to put his car through an automatic wash.

Then the truck driver responded well when I asked about the vending machine, and then said he would show me what to do and how to do it.  I went back, got my car, and parked it in the fifth stall.  I walked around and studied the place to figure it all out.

The truck driver did come to explain how to use the wand and the gadget where you select the kind of operation to clean the car.

First, comes presoak.  Then you could clean your tires with a special wash, and that includes the engine as well.  That aspect of cleaning the engine frankly scares me yet. i will have to find out about that before I ever do it.  But I could do tires if need be.  As it is, I used only the regular wash on them.

I did as the guy said and rinsed first, then presoak, then wash, and then rinse again. I rewashed again, and rerinsed again.  I got my $4.00 dollars worth and then added another token for another wash and rinse.  I intended for it to be thoroughly cleaned.

Then I used my handy little microfiber cloth to wipe the car thoroughly and completely.  I could not reach the roof so the truck driver was nice enough to slightly wipe one side of it.  I need to take a step stool next time I go.  What did I know?

There is a vending machine where one can buy towels, cleaners, even deodorizers.  I bought a glass cleaner which works wonderfully for windows and mirrors. I was really pleased with how well that one cleaner worked to make my windows shine.  So clean that there was no reflection from the lights at night.  That is well worth the trouble to go there.

There is a vacuum cleaner that one can use to clean the floors of the car. I had already done that last time I gassed up so I passed on that. My car is relatively clean and is now spotlessly clean.  (except that spot on the roof I missed.)

So now I plan on washing it once a month.  I have found my car wash. Bubbles on Oak Street in Scottsdale.  Total cost with glass cleaner was $6.00. Not bad.

Friday, October 18, 2013

Dreams

I woke up late again this morning.  I do wake up early because my cat always wakes me but I do not always get up at 6:00 in the morning.  He is very persistent but often my need for sleep will not let me get up when he wants. It is closer to 5:00 because usually it is dark out and i just say to him, Let me sleep,please, and I go back into my deep sleep.  So today I woke up because I had just seen my mother come into where I was and I watched her put curtains on the windows, and then I recognized her carrying stalks of corn in her arms.  I knew her immediately and felt so secure and peaceful seeing her that I woke up at once, thinking about it.  It did not disappear from my mind as most dreams often do.

So dwelling on it, I realized some things that make me believe more firmly in the truth about times past. One, she is gone.  If I saw her again today, it would be in a spiritual way, and just as I had not recognized my grandmother at first because she was appearing in a ghostlike appearance I might have difficulty in recognizing my mother too were she to do the same.  She has never done that, but because I dreamed of her, I believe that she is trying to contact me somehow.  Maybe?  Who knows why we dream at all.  But anyway,  I felt at peace in seeing her.

It made me understand that all the personages of the past that I have seen in their own appearance at that time period are a lot like the people we see in dreams.  They are seen in the way that they had appeared in life at that time, and that we somehow or other are able to know them in their own time period which sets them apart from one another even if they are an extension of the same soul.

I use many analogies or comparisons to explain the way I see this. I think of the length of rivers which are one single body but are described according to the villages and towns that develop along their shores.  The Mississippi near St. Louis, Mo. is the same river that appears at the various cities and towns further north or south, and each one has its own impression of that mighty river.  So souls appear to appear in flesh in different times and generations, and while the inner soul which is love, energy, and all attributes of God the creator, all appear and behave according to the flesh in which it appears.

I am writing this out because I recognized my mother immediately. Day before yesterday, it was both my mom and dad, but the point is that when in a dream, one does know who is who as well as when they were both alive and well on the earth.  And it is also true when in regression and identifying people who appear to us.  I recognized them for their identity in that time period as well as the time when I had lived then.  It is interesting for me to consider all this while I try to figure it all out.  I had not  really known some as quickly or as well as others but the sounds and the words I did recognize.  So I have to admit that this has had a great effect on me.   I was so happy to see my mother again.  I am wondering about the meaning of it all.

What a week!

I would like to find humor in this week but it is impossible for me to do so.  Old Murphy's law is working too well for me. If it can go wrong, it will.  So after my printer experience which I wrote in my journal yesterday I had to have the internet connection problem today. For some reason or other, after using my computer just fine this morning all of a sudden my internet connection did not work, and so up popped a window from apple explaining something to me that made me call my server.  Good thing that I did because the technician was able to fix the thing from his place in the sky (where ever that may be as these people are situated all over the country) and so he did get the internet to work again.

So I am grateful for small favors but really unhappy with a world in which we have to have a million and one passwords, serial numbers, email addresses, and Lord knows how ever much other nonsensical stuff to know just to get started using any of these appliances and tools.  Drives me up a wall because I can remember the time that all one had to do was to buy the product, plug it in, and it worked.  Hallelujah!   How did we ever survive?

So anyway,  all that irritation, long time spent on a phone call left me irritated and frustrated, and thus, I canceled all my planned activities to calm myself down and stay home in a semi relaxed state.

But now I can finally begin my revision of my novel the way that I think I want to work it out, and maybe I will get it on the road at last after all these months.

Naturally, I analyze everything to death.  I am realizing that I must write this book to be THE book of the ages so that it will endure and become a well read beloved story.   How I will manage to do that?  Well, that is the problem to solve, isn't it?

I have always wondered why it is that people are so fascinated with the subject matter.  I know how I became involved in it so that for me it is easy to understand my personal interest.  And that is what I am drawing upon for most of this book, and that is my knowledge of Alexander, his feelings, and his relationships to friends and family that I have gleaned in my study of him through unorthodox means.

Alexander is a man created by his parents in the image of the gods who they worshipped as his mother truly believed that he was a son of Zeus Ammon (so the legend goes) and his father truly believed that he was destined for a great future to lead his own army.  I believe that his father wanted to create him in his own image more than that of the gods but nonetheless he was certainly instrumental in the child's development at an early age to become a military ruler.

Because of the supernatural aspects predicting his birth, his family was definitely certain that he would be a great world leader, and so they shaped him  into the kind of man that they hoped that he would become.  Little is known about his childhood but stories have come down through the ages about his being a child marvel, impressing even his adversaries when they met him, and confounding closer foes at home who feared him.  Rumors and speculation had spread throughout the world about him due to the many prophecies surrounding his birth so he was always studied, followed, and either admired or jeered, depending upon the situation and persons he encountered.

I learned of his genius during my method of receiving information about him.  Alexander had speed, more speed than anyone can imagine. I can remember one time when it came through me so that I was entirely controlled by it one day to understand why it was useful for him and when and how it could be used. I realized that it did not serve me well. I had no need for that kind of speed but in fact it had operated full force in me for a whole day.  I was impressed with what I believe controlled his entire life.

There is a way in which I believe that he is a god or like a god in that he had a mental comprehension of all things regarding his operation in the military role that simply is inexplicable. His mental grasp of the most minute of details is mindboggling, but he did know each and every aspect of his campaign from top to bottom in an easy grasp.  It is so godlike to experience that kind of comprehension that it is unlikely that anyone can ever appreciate it.  One has to experience it for themselves and when one is in that state of mental omniscience it is incredible and amazing.  But I did experience that through his mental thought process and I realized that he knew every imaginable aspect of his military operation.

How I will be able to translate this into a readable and enthralling novel is something that I have to work out.  Condensing a situation such as that of a military machine into a paragraph is as difficult as anything to imagine.  But if anyone clearly demonstrates the need for the military to take orders from someone in command who knows how to give orders, this army and its leader clearly prove that that is the cause of success in a military operation.

In other words, Alexander is the genius who decides the way in which the army will do combat.  He is who knows how many men, how much armor, how many horses, how much food and rations, how many medicals, how many weapons, etc.etc.etc....He delegates the jobs to his generals who in turn must then reach each and every man in their individual units.  His first experience at leading an army himself was when he was only 15 and that was after serving a brief first time stint working with his father.  So his years of studying his father's methods, his innate ability to lead and control, his desire enabled him to early on successfully prove himself as a leader and ruler of the army his father had built.

I guess that is why he has confounded followers in later years.  He is a true military genius.

But not only did he lead his army, but he was an architect of cities.  He founded and designed many cities to develop the boundaries for his kingdom which he founded.  He was also a very holy man, dedicated to the worship of the gods and to do sacrifices in their honor to help him to succeed in his mission.

His determination to succeed has had no match in history since though many have tried.  He was compelled to fulfill his ambition which was to become one of the gods.  Those illustrious heroes of the past had to be equalized and even vanquished if necessary so that he would rise to the Heavens also.  He seems to have succeeded.

Now all I have to do is to make this life interesting through the written word.  Now that I have my printer I will attempt my version of his story.  My way.

Thursday, October 17, 2013

What kind of day is this!

I am beyond exasperation.  I have purchased a new printer which is a great buy if I can get it to work on all four functions and more.  I have only just begun and already things went haywire this morning.  I absolutely cannot stand this age. I love the ease and comfort of computers and modern hi tech until something goes wrong...then I hate it.

I just got off the phone working with a technician to get my wifi restarted.  He was a great guy who did manage to walk me through the process of getting the wifi going again and I learned something new from him that nobody had told me.  I have to turn the modem off once a week to get it restarted each time. For some reason or other the wifi just stopped this morning after I had been using it and so I had to make a call to get help. He did get it back on with a lot of ease on his side but total consternation and frustration on my side.

Frankly, my nerves have been shot for ages, and this did not help one bit.   I had a great time with a technician from the Philippines for the HP printer that I had just bought, and I was trying to get it back into operation again this morning to finish a job I started last night.

What a time all this has been.  Too frustrating for words, as the document or book is very long. It is the Scrivener guidebook which I want in print instead of on the computer because one cannot check a page on the computer when one is already working on it. At least I cannot do it. There may be a way and I will be sure to ask about that now that I am discussing it but I do not know how to do two things at once on the same system.  Working and writing on a document and then trying to check out the guide is something that I can only do if the guide is in print.  I do better with printed documents than with documents still on a computer.

As I said in my previous post in this journal I have learned that trying to become a published author is a very expensive project.

All the tools necessary to complete the job is a fantastic and outrageous cost. I  doubt that many authors get their costs covered if they are only an Indy or self published author.  Even with huge publishing firms authors can only get a minimal amount if they are not blockbusters and rated number 1 for months running.  The book must be a notoriously great sell to get any kind of decent profits.  That is the business end.

Ohh, the agonies of authorship.  Nobody really helps to explain much except a few who do share their torturous efforts.


Wednesday, October 16, 2013

And now the printer

HSN had a today's special value on an HP printer called photosmart for the low price of $99 and flex payments so I ordered it. It arrived this past Monday which was a wonderful surprise.  I really appreciated having it that quickly so that I can get to work on my novel. I am realizing now how much it costs we authors to write books.  It is a very expensive proposition in the end.

At any rate, I waited a few days before trying to set it up, knowing that it would take a lot of time, and probably that I would need lots of help. I am not the brightest bulb in town when it comes to modern tech and I admit it. I am frustrated by it all the time but am gradually accepting it. What else can we do?

I bought a MacBook Air when I selected a new computer and it does not have a driver on it.  That makes it very light and thin but when discs are used to set up programs one must have a driver or a way to put the software in from a source that frankly is beyond my comprehension.  When I had my scanner, the store manager set it up from his company and HP has suggested that one can turn to support to have it installed there. So I tried that tonight.

Luckily, I was able to finally talk to a living person who ended up transferring me to a woman from Manila, Philippines, and she took over for me very expertly and patiently put my printer together for me.  I listened to her, did as she instructed, and even gave her permission to take over to do all the installation for the computer. I watched her as she moved everything around.   It is very similar to the way the Indians of India take your computer to solve problems for you, but I really appreciated her doing it for me.  I trust her and HP and her supervisor who did talk to me later  They gave me a phone call They were wonderful people.

So all in all, I am off to a good start with the computer and it worked wonderfully.  She did a test for me to see if it would print with a computer command which it did perfectly.

I began a job that I had to stop. I am wondering how it will work when I start it again.  I may need help from Apple if I cannot figure it out myself.

I did have to buy ink tonight at Walmart and had a bad time there.  I forgot to have someone take the ink out of the security carton so brought it home to try to open.  You can't get those things open.  They are very difficult so I had to go back to exchange it and to explain it. Because the replacement did not go through a cash register it beeped when I walked out of the store...looks like I stole it...an impossible task believe me.

What the heck. I had my receipt in hand so I did not try to explain or look back....those things happen.

Thursday, October 10, 2013

Late Night T.V. Shows and Miscellaneous Thoughts

Tonight on Twitter I was alerted to the appearance of Kanye West on Jimmy Kimmel show so that I finally watched parts of it. It was rather interesting to see how Jimmy let Kanye let off steam instead of stopping him at any point.  I finally understood why there were so many commercials before the  final episode.  I got so tired of the commercials I turned back to Letterman but then finally decided to see if Kanye was back on the air or not.  He talked nonstop after that while Jimmy listened to him without interruption.  And Kanye was incensed and on fire.

And yes, Josh Groban had been in Phoenix for a personal appearance where I am certain that those who were lucky enough to go enjoyed his concert. I had checked it out earlier but decided that I could not afford the tickets since I need a printer to write my novel and could not do both at the same time. It would have been fun but I opted to stay home and laughed at the number of times that Josh was mentioned tonight on t.v.  Not only by the local t.v. stations but by Simon Cowell on the X Factor and also by Jimmy Kimmel in his interview with Kanye West.

Major Purchase
I have ordered a printer since they were offered on HSN with so many additiional features besides a low price that I took advantage of the Smartprinter special value that was on t.v. the other night. I am using easy pay naturally to offset the costs.  I bought protection also which will insure that nothing will ever go wrong with it you can just bet.

Finally, after it gets here, I may finally get back to writing my book which is being played out in my mind one way or the other.  Having to reread all the various versions of key episodes which I will develop is not always fun but I have been doing it little by little.  There are always two ways of seeing a story...one from the historical records so to speak, and the other from one's own reading into those stories or intuiting the stories. In my case, also from recalling moments that have come to me via the leak in time that allows one to penetrate to the past

Rain Tonight
Since we are supposed to get rain tonight and tomorrow I had to pull my plants in tonight to put under the patio so that they don't get an excess of rain. I water them daily but root rot is not something I want to suffer.  So I always bring them in under the roof of the patio so that they don't get drowned.  What a chore but it is better than losing them.


Halloween

I went to the 99 cents store today to get some pumpkins for the patio and for inside the apartment.  While there I found some beautiful artificial flowers at 99 cents so I bought some of those to fill a vase. They are so pretty. I bought a deep purple and a light violet set to brighten up some area in the apartment but learned quickly that I have don't have any place for them to sit.  I had to make a place for them next to the lamp here in the dining area.  But they are really nice.  At Pottery Barn they would cost me a fortune.  Ten times as much for one single stem.  Not exactly the same size but the peonies that were at 99 cents store were fantastic. I nearly bought those but decided that I had spent enough already.

I have been watching Halloween food wars on Food t.v. which has motivated me to try to do something for Halloween in the way of maybe carving a pumpkin. I did carve one some years ago but have left them whole for the most part and keep them until Thanksgiving.  These are tiny small but cute so that they will hold up til turkey day.


Sunday, October 6, 2013

Continuation of Spiritual Lives

Because yesterday I was discussing the times that I spent reliving the lives of men of the past, I mentioned that my pains in my shins make me think of Alexander the Great when he was hit in the fibula with an arrow.  I will write this incident up in a story but before I do that, I had to refresh my memory about the historical record of it.  Previous to this post, I once had a vision of Alexander when he was laid up due to that injury. It occurred to me shortly after I moved from the house into the Monaco apartment, and it had a great impact on me. I have drawn a sketch of how he looked to me then and it is on this journal somewhere early on I know.  I have never forgotten at how exuberaant and vital that Alexander was despite his many injuries that he had suffered at that time.

So today when refreshing my memory of it, I found a reference to it through the search engine and then looked it up in a book that I have.  I have so many books by so many authors that it isn't funny.  It is amazing when reading these books at how each story varies even though it is always the same story. The one I used this afternoon is Lewis Cumming's book.

Anyway, because I believe that the pain I have at night is that which Alexander suffered I realized that for some reason at night I am finding myself back in his time period. The tissue metaphor came about because of the ease with which I can be in 4 BC in sleep time but back in 21st AD awake time.I have puzzled about this because I seldom feel that pain in the shins during the day and I walk many miles at a time often.  So it has to be what we call psychosomatic, but in reality is actually reliving a life experience of the past.  I am confident of that.

(A caveat here...I am not asserting reincarnation, mediumship, or anything...just the experience that is spiritual since I enter the visual impression that I see of the person and then find myself being that person.)


The true self is a strange thing and I dare say that few of us understand it at all. I wanted to know my self...and my spiritual guides have said to me the phrase this is another of your selves...that preceded my experience with Genghis Khan who I knew would come into view even before I saw him...that has happened to me in person with dignitaries here in the Valley even.  before I saw J. Gordon Libby I received the same introduction to him...I knew he was there just before I saw him.  So whether in the flesh or in the spirit, I have a form of precognition.

So because I associate this pain with Alexander's shin injury I am able to deal with it, but I decided to learn exactly when and where it happened, as like I said, there are many versions of this story.  He was also struck  on the back of the neck with a rock which nearly made him blind and as a result of that he also lost his voice for a short time.   He suffered many headaches as one would imagine...so it made me think because all this happened shortly before he had his runin with Cleitos who was his bodyguard as well as his lifelong friend from early childhood.

I know very well now why it was that Alexander over reacted when Cleitos said what he did, and I maintain that after all that Alexander had suffered in that particular battle that Cleitos was very wrong to criticize Alexander as he had done.  Cleitos was a damned fool for not having realized how long it had taken for Alexander to recover, how much pain he had suffered, and how  serious his wounds had been.  In fact, I got really angry about it when I thought of it as I know what kind of pain Alexander had endured.

I have to say this now because when I had that vision of Alexander he was the most vital and enthusiastic leader I have ever seen while suffering an injury.  You would have thought he would have been down, pessimistic, and abject but instead he was full of life, energy, and ordering everyone so confidently that nobody would imagine how much pain he had just endured.  I am so impressed with him yet because of that attitude that I had to remark on it.

While I like the thought of my soul having had so many different life time experiences, it is only known to me through my desire to know of them...it is a lot like a hotel which has many different rooms to rent...the soul itself enjoys many different lifetime experiences...Ask and ye shall receive is what I mean.

Enough for now...I am writing this out to think about it. Writing it out always helps me to develop my ideas and my storyline because I realize how important these events are to my own self understanding and life process.  It relieves me to be able to write  a book about it.





Saturday, October 5, 2013

Correction of Title Graviry

I boo-booed.  I do this a lot, but I caught it so that I corrected it as soon as I realized it.  How many people have read the original I will never know.

However, I deleted all the references to my sudden realization of the film's making me think of my discovery of Genghis Khan during my soul searching.  I was mumbling to myself aloud the other day about soul and tissues.  I often spill things on the floor or counter and have to use a lot of paper towels or tissues to blot up the liquid.  It dawned on me when I was thinking about Alexander's wounds and how they affect me now that flesh is like the tissue or paper towels and soul is like the liquid which we are blotting up. In this sense it is the same that no matter how many tissues we pile on top  of one another,the liquid remains the same liquid that we spilled onto the floor.  The soul is the same soul no matter which flesh it inhabits.

Now, I am a woman who believes in this because I believe in my own personal revelations that have come to me during my quest for truth.

I am not interested in the history of any of these former figures who were prominent on the world stage.  I frankly find too many books written about them so full of the author's own personal agenda that I dislike them completely and totally.  Each are regurgitating the same material as envisioned by their thinking capacity.  Some could be truer than others but I do not choose to read each and everyone to know who is the most fair and most comprehensive in their version of the same tale.

My experiences can only be supported by the historical data available and I have had most of them without knowing history that much about any of them. I do know that they are taught in major coilleges and universities, studied primarily by the military since most are military oriented, and are often exposed according to the light that the individual university or academic institution wants to present.  Don't expect a British University to ever appreciate George Washington or even Louis XIV.  Don't expect a Persian Institution to love Alexander the Great.  Don't expect Muslims to appreciate Genghis Khan. It just won't happen.

I doubt that many French could really ever truly love or appreciate Julius Caesar either for that matter.

At any rate, while watching movies I sometimes think what a movie would be like using my experiences and myself as the catalyst for exposing the lives of these men as I have seen them. I do not even care to think about it. It would be far more absurd to film than this movie about a female scientist having to leap from space station to space station to survive.

But as with the analogy of the liquid and paper towels, and soul and flesh, I believe that the soul is the same soul for each and everyone of these persons who I have met in my soul searching.

I did push to go back to first man and even beyond to the great soul or spirit which is the force that preceded being drawn into the human being.  I have always wondered at that and I have glimpsed into it.

In truth, this might be my most important lifetime because of the very act of learning of all previous lifetimes.  I have other secrets besides just soul searching but the enormity of the fame of each has never  daunted me.  After all, they were men, they were born into the role they had to play, and they pursued it as best that they could.  They fascinate me now only because I have learned of them from within rather than through taking a class in a college setting.  I truly ignored their history because I was busy doing other things and none of them ever seemed significant or important enough for me to study or even read.  I may have seen the Burton movie on Alexander, and I certainly had heard of the dangerous Genghis Khan and I have always known of the heroism of George Washington but never did I care enough about any of them to even read a book about one of them.  But once it was brought to my attention that they might have something to do with me, I devoured them all wholesale.  I had never even heard of Louis XIV to be perfectly honest until I was led to him at the library.  He would have bored me silly to be honest, and I have always realized that.  If my discovery of them does finally cause me to write books that will show my knowledge and vision of them, then perhaps I will do myself a favor at last.  For the most part, they are all tedious and boring in just plain old history books.  And not one novel yet has ever induced me to like any of them.  Sorry, Authors, but you have not caught them as I have come to know them.

So be it. I will see if I can do it or not.  Am working on it all the time.

The movie Gravity

I fell for both Forbes and Todo Bramble's comments about the movie Gravity being the best movie of the year and maybe that one of them had ever seen.

So I went to see it in 3-D, the only way one should really see it.

Without giving much away, I must say that this film is explosive, suspenseful, and touching in a very small way.  Who will survive the destruction of not only one but two international space stations?  How could one survive these horrific events?

That is the plot of the movie.  A female scientist who has been trained to walk in space to perform some tasks is finally left on her own to save her skin and get into a safe place where she  can survive.  The movie is a study in building tension, heightening suspense, and setting nerves on edge. It achieves all this very well when using special effects with 3-D.  This is a very in your face movie, addressing the needs of a single person surviving a catastrophe.

It is not too philosophical as such.  One has to choose between life and death at some point, and at one point, one comes to grips with the fact that only one's own will and instincts will get you out of the problem that you have.

One of the reasons I decided to see this film is that someone on Facebook had suggested that if you were contemplating suicide that you should see this film. I wondered what on earth could be in this film to assist someone who has suicidal tendencies.

The film is absurd in many ways.  No way could anyone really survive any of the disasters that confront this modern Perils of Pauline drama.  But it is after all a Hollywood flick so all kinds of dreadful things happen to make you realize that you are being played for a fool.  She discards a space suit to readily find another in an otherwise defunct space station. Out of nowhere she is fully clothed again after having peeled off her previous suit, and so now she is fitted into a Russian suit.  She wanders from space lab to space lab a bit too easily but with enough freaky disasters to keep one wondering what is next and how in the world can this be happening.

So after she nearly succumbs to the icy cold grip of death for some reason or other her former partner appears to revive her and keep her on track, trying every trick in the book to get her on the move again to safe territory..


(SPOILER ALERT)

The film did make me nervous and edgy. It is a frightening film. The guy sitting next to me was on the edge of his seat the entire run of the movie. I had laughed at the destruction of the second space station for it was ridiculous to believe for one minute she could hang on for dear life while everything around her was exploding in midair.  It was frankly silly at that point, but I got back into the gist of going on the ride with her through her personal hell and went along to see her nearly drown in the end, but faithful to all the other peel off all your clothes to come up swimmingly fine, she doe it again...At last, she can claw her way to the top on the beach with good earth in her hands.

Do I think that this movie is great?  Hardly!  It is nervewracking and frankly, the scenes of earth and space were not nearly as exciting as they could have been and should have been.  A few sunsets and a few glimpses of earth as it may appear did not really impress me very much.  I have seen better on the internet. I suppose they have to get permission to use really beautiful views...

The interiors of the space stations were the most interesting because of the 3-D effects where loose objects are spinning wildly and floating towards you, some even coming straight to you.  The 3-D is excellent for showing perspective and giving a sense of what life may be like for the astronauts aboard these space labs.

It does make one value the work that the astronauts do much more than any other film has done.  The idea that someone may float away to a lonely death in space has been done before.  There is nothing new there.

The banter between George Clooney as a cute and romantic astronaut who is in love with himself and the hardworking and serious but independent scientist was fairly natural enough. Most everyone agrees that astronauts probably over value their own allure to women.

I say that because I have met up with people who have worked at Cape Canaveral with the astronauts.  I have heard stories.  Probably a lot of truth in their egos being worse than that of athletes and actors.

At any rate, I saw why Todo suggested that if you are contemplating suicide you might want to see the film.  It makes one want to stay alive for awhile and especially on earth, and not in space.  The fact that there are men and women who have spent so many days and months in space makes me wonder about their psychology as well.  


I deleted all the references to myself in this  after I realized that I had sent this to facebook without correcting the title Graviry to Gravity.  What was I thinking?




Wednesday, October 2, 2013

The BlackList on NBC

The promotion for the Blacklist was so enticing that I watched the first episode.  I do not watch most t.v. programs, talk shows, sit coms, or other junk that the entertainment industry likes to spin.  But the previews of this sounded wickedly enthralling so that I did get caught up in the first episode.  Fancy this, that Elizabeth Keen and I share some things in common as well.  They just actually said in your face, Janet, this is a piece of your life, and you know it.  I do know it too well, so once having passed that hurdle, I watched it anyway, knowing that there is enough junk in it to save their asses from my prompting a lawsuit against them.

It leads me back to my days in learning of Genghis Khan which believe it or not, did me more good than  anyone can ever know.

Genghis Khan was born with a bloodclot in his hand.  I bet you did not know that, did you?  Well, the story goes that he was, and blood clots have been very important to me.  I also as a baby probably had a bloodclot form in my hand when I cut myself (so I am told) when carrying a glass object as a baby and fell, cutting my palm below my thumb. I have the scar on my left hand to this day and once I learned of Genghis Khan, I realized the real significance of all those solar plexus pulls at the bookstore.  They kept leading me to Genghis Khan.

Next week's episode will deal with the Chinese.  Should I raise my eyebrows on that?

I was startled to learn that one of my "selves" (and remember that Cayce once said that we meet ourselves all the time when meeting other people) was Genghis Khan. I  have never forgotten my first glimpse of the great Mongolian leader.  I have never been so impressed with anyone in my soul searching as I was of Genghis Khan. He is enormous.

So that brings us back to Elizabeth Keen whose life is a mystery and whose new tutor is a mystery as well.  The scar on her hand is much deeper and longer than mine.  Mine always looks like a form of pi or a tooth...By your scars you shall be known....I am fascinated with Elizabeth Keen now and her writers who have caught my interest.  When I last saw her, she was watching her husband discuss her as a tear rolled down her cheek....

No wonder J. Edgar Hoover did not marry....my first thought when her husband was viciously attaced.


So it goes...we will see what the writers conjure now....who is this man who knows the minds of the criminal world so well?  After all, he set the guy out to attack her husband...what is going on here? is he her real father?  my fist thought of course, but they have now let that one out of the bag...or was he a close friend of the family?  why is he so interested in her?  and he reminds me of Putin no less...

Trip to Car Dealer

On October 6 my car will be exactly two months old.  Let me tell you that when I first bought this car I was so intimidated by it that I could hardly believe it.  I have not had a totally computerized car until now and it frankly is very intimidating to learn all the aspects of this wonderful vehicle.  So when I first bought it I will admit that I was walking in a dream land of a kind.  I selected it because of the four year warranty and maintenace plan which can be extended to six years and 100,00 miles...for four year it is 50,000 so go figure that last two years which can get as many as an extra 50,000....Where would I go in those two years I am wondering...I am sure I could do it if need be but so far I am looking at only four or 50,000.

At any rate, that is the reason I was interested in the car.  Free sounds good to me.  I figure that the manufacturer really believes in his product.  My first Chevrolet that I bought had a part fall off the first month I drove it, and I had to go in to meet the owner of the company, Mr. Summerfield, to get satisfaction. I have not forgotten that. So many Buick owners complained to me about windows and other parts not working properly that no wonder GM went under so much.  The automobiles were not made that well, and there was no pride in workmanship. So for an automaker to actually believe in its company and product impressed me no end, not just because it is unheard of in an American made car but probably most others. I do see that KIA offers a ten year or 100,000 deal of some kind but I do not know about maintenance costs.  I like maintenance free and all parts except tires covered.  I worry about tires of course as they are very expensive but also special built tires as well.

So finally after I had a warning on my screen that I had low tire pressure I decided to go back to the dealer to talk about all the finer details which had been explained but totally forgotten to me.  I am a klutz when in fantasy land.

BMW now has two or three geniuses who are especially trained to work with clients so that I had my first talk with a genius who explained all about the things I wanted to know.  Like how to turn off the air conditioner.  I had read the owners manual, but still under climate control, I could not find where or how to turn the a.c. off.  I finally learned how to turn it off and on.  Then I went through the programming of radio stations and other data that I want programmed into my car.  Then we toggled and played with the I tool which is indispensable in this car, and I learned how to navigate and how to find anything that I need to know right at my fingertips.

I had worried about the air pressure in the tire but I did think that the car would let me know if anything was wrong. I was right. It did and the tires needed air. Fortunately, my next door neighbor was kind enough to fill it free for me. My next door neighbor is a local gas station and the kid who worked there early in the morning was very nice to me.

Unfortunately, I cannot buy gas from him.  BMW has allowed only certain gas dealers to be acceptable for use in this particular car, so I can find gas at either Chevron or QuckTrip and some others which I have not really noted.  But no, as I did ask, I cannot go to Albertson's or Fry's for gas.  It does turn out that I can shop Safeway to get rewards as Chevron accepts those.

Isn't life interesting. I once won a food card at a local bank opening and it was for Safeway too.  Hmmm!

Anyway, I finally have it altogether now, have lost my fear of the car, and am no longer intimidated. It is the most expensive car that I have ever owned despite the fact that I once had a sports Cougar...it was a used car bought with a discount due to the teacher's union.  But BMW is definitely a trustworthy and sound car as I have learned over the past two months.

My philosophy now is that I must do myself right in my old age. I  did not always do that for myself when younger, always living by the almighty dollar. I have decided that the few things in life that count, bed, shoes, and vehicle must be the best for me to enjoy my last years on this planet.

So I studied the car situation and decided that the BMW is the best value for the money with the four year free maintenance.  I love this car.  It is fantastic.  Now I can go places!!!!