Who Would Believe?

I am always dismayed when good people believe that they can impose their will onto others willy nilly.

There is a lot of uproar and outrage about the Supreme Court Decision regarding gay marriage.  I frankly wish this subject would die a quick death and go away now that it is done.

Religious systems seem to breed two kinds of followers: blind and dumb, and thoughtful and faithful.

The blind and dumb abound in vast numbers and are a discredit to the otherwise thoughtful and faithful.

When you are truly grounded in your faith, no decision by any lay court anywhere is going to affect or impact you except to wonder how could people do whatever it is that may be opposite what you believe.

You certainly are not going to tremble as though you are going to be threatened by it.  If you are a true faithful member, nothing and nobody can shake your faith. It is that simple.

I am one of those because i have witnessed with my own inner eyes the truth of my faith, and therefore,nothing can deter me from believing in it and in myself.

I do allow for the fact that I could be some angelic or saintly soul who has the keys to the Kingdom, and can unlock any soul I wish should I decide to do so to examine and evaluate that person, or that indeed, I am able to simply slip back into my own soul's true self and relive myself as I had in the flesh some whenever years ago.  One or the other is the only possible way in my opinion, and nothing can affect my belief in that. I have gone there, been that person, and done that.  I like it, and I am satisfied with it.

So why all the uproar about a few men and women who want to have a permit and license to marry one another, to have a ceremony like their brothers and sisters have, and to throw big parties for showers and receptions?  What is wrong with that?

Nothing, in my opinion because it does not affect me or my life one bit.

I am too old to entertain thoughts of romance and love now even though I find men attractive and interesting I am not very likely to up and get married now.

But of course, if the right guy came along and I was foolish enough, i could do it but for what good reason?  Just to spend the night together?  Travel together? Go to games together?  Dances?  Why marry to do all those things when one can do those without the necessity of a license or permit that says you are now bound by state law to take care of one another. Did not love for one another do that already?

So, I ask you.  Where is that guy?

Ready for the grave himself, no doubt and probably only wants a nurse to tuck him in at night...So it goes.

Summing UP the Week

After finally conquering the shock of finding a sewer roach in my bathtub, I finally was able to get back into the tub again this morning.  I am still seeing that horrible critter crawling around in there, and I do not dare to forget it to make sure it doesn't happen again.

I had ordered two items from HSN this past week when on special, and today both have finally arrived. One is a skin regimen, and the other a Dyson fan.  But alas and alack, the fan did not have the remote that is supposed to come with it so I had to call HSN to complain about it.  They are going to send me another and when it gets here, I have the choice of either fan with the remote.  I told a banker about it who suggested that I keep the one with the remote since they should work together properly.  He has a point1

I love the fan.  It is making the living room more enjoyable and livable since I turn the air conditioning off in the evening.  But the air distributor keeps it cool.  Outside the area of the fan it is not so lovely but so long as you can feel the air, it is wonderful.  But without a remote, I do not have use of the oscillating part of it. I am wondering how it works on this particular fan.  I am really quite skeptical about the entire fan right now.

Other events of the week which are simply news stories include the capture and killing of a prisoner escapee in New York state.  Odd at the way this prison break is playing.  One can only wonder how much of it we should believe, since it is a story that has had so many twists and turns that it is hard to buy into it at times.  Can a prison be that lax that this escape plan could be carried out so well?

Europe has been under attack in three locations: France, Tunisia, and Kuwait!  All seem to be orchestrated ISIS attacks.  Serious trouble there.

Funerals are being held for the men and women killed in Charleston, South Carolina.  Some nut case by the name of Dylan Roof took upon himself to travel 120 miles to carry out an act of vengeance on innocent church going people.  What kind of idiot this young crazed kid is has been cussed and discussed over the media.  He hated the American flag, hated black people, so he picked a black church with a high reputation to carry out his madness.  Fortunately, the church people have been so good as to forgive and to act honorably in this very serious matter. To think that this young man entered this church with a weapon, sat with these people during Bible study, and then stood up to shoot and kill them is unbelievable. It makes no sense to me, but any more in this crazy world, people get worse and worse all the time.


The t.v. is showing Barack Obama as he ends his eulogy  for the pastor by singing Amazing Grace. He startled the congregation who finally rose to sing it with him.  It is interesting to watch him as he tries to lead them in song, and he does have a good voice.  Surrounded by all those members of the church around him, he looks pretty small and thin in comparison to the powerful men who stood behind him.


Gays celebrated the Supreme Court's decision to allow gay marriages as legal under the constitution.  It seems odd that this was ever a question but gays have had Barack Obama as their champion so that the public has been changing in attitudes about gay rights so that the liberal members of the court voted 5 to 4 to acknowledge their right to legal rights in partnerships.

They are celebrating loud and clear.  Hopefully, this will not be an issue in the election because the Republicans have been trying to write amendments to protect the marriage of heterosexuals for a long time.  Scott Walker tonight sounded like the idiot he obviously is about this subject by suggesting that  we make an amendment to the constitution regarding marriage. How dumb can any one be to even suggest such a thing?

But Rubio and Bush were rather mild in their disagreement, Rubio saying the right thing the right way. Surprise! Surprise!  The only Republican who made sense.  I wonder how they think they can win elections making the stupid statements they are so noted for doing.  But Rubio at least said that it is the law of the land we must respect it even if we disagree with it. I do not know why they can disagree to legal protections.  This is a civil matter, not a church matter.

I do not deny that Jesus says quite plainly that marriage is between man and woman.  But I hate to say this but some would change that if they could.  But it is clear.  He also says that angels do not marry, that in Heaven there is no such thing as marriage.  the resurrected are as angels, and do not marry.

But then, all was passed from word to mouth for years before it became written, and I honestly wonder at anyone who can ever believe anything that is passed generation from generation by word of mouth.  Even the old handwritten probably had changes in the words...so it goes...I am happy to believe that in Heaven there is no marriage.  Since marriage is for the flesh to procreate and to have wee babies...no need for reproduction of spirit in Heaven.

On that note, good night!

Try Again

Getting adjusted to a new apartment and region is taking some time. Now that i am finally in my apartment I do not go out as much as when I had been waiting to get into the place.  I have so much work to do that I do something every day towards getting things in place, but I tire easily and so I will not push myself too hard now.

I have lots of ceramics, most of which had been my mothers, as I had only a few, but all of her stuff became mine once she passed away.  I have finally put most of it into the cupboards where at least they are safe from becoming broken or damaged. I had had one incident where one glass was broken and I have even kept it because it is such beautiful crystal. I was sickened by it but it happened when I carried it from the Monaco to East McDonald.  I won't let go of it though.

I promised myself not to buy anything for this apartment until after I am here a year.  I do not know if I will stay for another year or not and so I do not want to invest into any furniture at all. I could go to GoodWill maybe to find something on sale.  Sandra had bought the table for me at $1.00 on sale she said.  I would be shocked to get anything that cheap now.  But that is the only way I would do it.

I did give the table to St. Vincent de Paul along with the love seat and the glider chair and bicycle.

I do need lamps and so I will buy lamps at either Walmart or a thrift shop.

But for the time being I am using the lights that are installed in the apartment.  My place looks dark from outside because I do not use the highest lamps.

I admit right now i am nostalgic and am missing my mom and my dad.  I now understand how they may have felt at this age now that i am going through it.  If it were not for a bad wisdom tooth, I might feel better than I do at present.  But this tooth is giving me sensations that I do not like.  I blame all my negative feelings on it.  I think it is the cause of most of my aches and pains that I am having.

I confess to ordering a Dyson 12 inch fan for the apartment.  It was on sale at HSN and I have always liked the fans that I found in Dillard's and Macy's.  But they are way too expensive for me to buy until a special came on HSN which I could not resist. It should be in this week I am hoping.  I can hardly wait to get it.  It is 75% quieter than the previous ten inch they sell for over $325.  This 12 inch was only $199 which I found irresistible.  I bought it!  I would be a fool not to buy it.

I can't wait for it.  I love the air conditioning system in this apartment, and frankly, it does not get too hot in here at night.  Since I am on the Southeast side, I have a good location to avoid the heat in the late afternoon.  I had been on the West side on McDonald and the bedroom was always hot.  They had removed the sun screens that did block the heat and did not replace them so that the people who live there now can only suffer from the heat.  It was so hot in my bedroom that it burned the rod that held the window fast to a deep dark brown. I was shocked to see how bad it was.

I am watching Ninja warrior but i think that million dollar listing show is coming up on Bravo at 9:00 with a new show.  I will go back and forth to see both.

I had wanted to go to California to see American Pharaoh but I just cannot afford to do it now. I will go to the sports grill on Saturday to hopefully make a decent bet on a chance to get some real money. I am hoping anyway.  It is the Hollywood Gold Cup so I may have a shot at doing well finally.

American Pharaoh is to parade around the track. I want to see him but I have too much work to do to up and leave, plus, I would have to go Thursday night to get there on Friday at a decent time...Too costly right now.

Nervous Wreck

I am a nervous wreck and I am using this means to just air my thoughts.

One, I will literally get rid of all items that I possess that I do not need. I am unloading all items now and have not yet found a place for most.  I do not intend to go to any expense in this new apartment. I will not buy any items to use in here but will use what I already have.  I may rent a storage room for some things just to have them secured and under lock and key.  Time will tell on that.

I do intend not to extend my lease here and will depart this apartment next July for certain. I hope to find a permanent home (?) by that time.  Permanent is a word that may not be true.  Nothing is ever permanent.

But perhaps I will find a place to call home where i can plan to live until I am put to my rest. I do not intend for that to happen anytime this year.

But when you reach my age, you wonder how many years left.  That has been consuming my thoughts for some time now.  I wish I could set a date so that I could manage my affairs better.

This event has really affected me in a very adverse way.  For one thing, I have realized that in many ways I more alone than ever, and it does not please me.  For that reason alone, I still want to spend my last years doing more than sitting around an apartment watching t.v. and going from shopping mall to shopping mall.

But I do admit that television does help make the days pass in a way that participation in outdoor activities in Arizona cannot possibly do.

I am not interested in socializing now.  I want to get my belongings arranged and sorted properly, to get myself in control as far as health and diet are concerned, and to be able to travel about freely without worry or concern about damage to my home or car.

At present, this is simply a way of talking myself into sanity once again.  I was out of my mind about a sewer roach for awhile.  I was ticked off at Dish representatives until I finally received a decent letter telling me that boxes are on their way, a tracking system will appear, and that this account is closed for certain.  What a problem that company had been for me.

I wish that people would better communicate with one another about the problems they have with various companies so we could all be of use to one another.

Sounding off about this day!

This day began with the worst possible thing that could happen to me when I discovered a sewer roach in my bathtub.  Yes, it was at the drain which I eventually learned is how it made its way up into the bathtub.  God, it was huge!  I did take a picture of it, which turned out to be video but I wanted a photo of it.  I had to get help from strangers to pick it up and take it out of my apartment. I was white as a sheet the entire time. I was really frightened of the thing.

Two men who happened to pass by and a girl who was walking with them came into my apartment to help me after I asked them if they would.  I am a coward about picking up roaches, and had earlier killed two of average size but this one was the size of a mouse with huge tentacles or claws or legs or whatever, wings even, for all I know, and I was just out of mind, literally.

I am not over it by a long shot but they were kind enough to help.  The girl had enough sense to ask for a bowl and a towel to pick it up.  When she saw it she was shocked as were both of the boys.  They reassured me that I had nothing to be ashamed of for asking for they help.  It was awful!  I cannot get over it yet!

But then I had a phone call from Dish which is turning out to be the worst company to work with about closing an account with...they are the world's worst and do not have a brain about t.v. and accounts now that I have learned how bad their representatives are to discuss business with.

I have letters on record from a week ago saying that I had closed the account, and finally, one last representative was sane enough to close the auto payment feature off my former account.  This company is unbelievable.

I am waiting for a box from them to return the equipment.  The dish guy who came to see about the possibility of setting up a connection had warned me about them. He was a nice guy as it turns out now.

But the last operator was so bad I could hardly believe it but that is because I decided not to participate in a call back to rate their work. I did ask for his operator number and name. He was bad to say the least but he was the one who did finally stop the auto payment process which nobody should ever agree to do.  That is why I changed my bank account because that company would have continued to take money out had I not done that.

Learn from me if you can.

Influence of Jackie Collins

I saw Jackie Collins on  Access Hollywood yesterday in which she said something that I have decided to try.   She suggested that we write a page a day to make a book for the end of the year.  Whether it is good or not makes no difference, it is just a book.  So I am going to try to do that if I can.

Right now, my day is already beginning in  a way that I hate.  I found a huge sewer cockroach in my tub.  I have never seen a roach so big and so frightening to me as this one was.  He was at the drain so he must have crawled up through the drain to get into the tub.  I had found two previously which I killed with my roach killer. I fear having to stock up on such stuff now but I will certainly get another can asap.  My nerves are shot to pieces right now.

Anyway, I called management who was not helpful except to tell me what it was and how it got there.  I asked her to have me on the exterminator's list after she explained that he won't be here until next Tuesday. I had had a previous introduction to the exterminator thanks to wasps trying to build a nest on my patio.  But this has taken the cake for me.  I am ready to break my lease and move elsewhere but I will be sure to spray everything, am trying to get rid of all boxes, and put things away as quickly as possible.

I don't think a book about fighting wasps and cockroaches appeals to me, but it is a part of my daily life right now.

I did not scream aloud at all, but I did search to find someone to help me get the thing out of the tub. I could not and would not do it myself.  At the other apartment I had found a man to take out a lizard in the closet of the bedroom but now here I found two guys and a gal to help me get this dang thing out of the bathtub. I was scared of the thing and would not and could not touch it.

The men were nice, the girl a bit unhappy with me, but she came along, and had the good sense to know what was needed to get it out.  I needed her too.   She did ask if I told management which I had done at once.  I was and am a bit put off by this problem right now.

Oh well, another day...another problem...what is life anyway?

Two Full Weeks in New Home

Where do I begin in this discussion?  I am slowly becoming accustomed to this new apartment dwelling, but I am taking it very slowly.  I finally have seen what it looks at night...Last night I tried to find the moon to see some configuration but I was too late to see the sight.  So tonight I did spot the moon in the sky finally, and walked to the dumpster to empty some trash.  At last, I see apartment lights everywhere.  Amazing at how this place looks at night.

Because I moved most of this stuff myself, I overworked it, and am so tired that I won't recover from this until two or three more months I fear.  For some reason, I am waking up every morning at 6:00 but here of late I am sleeping in til 7:30.  Then I fall asleep some time during the day.  I need a lot of sleep now.

When I first got here I did not have hot water but had to learn where the fuse box is to turn on a breaker.  Then the dryer did not work but I realize now that I did not know how to operate it.  It is pretty simple actually but I did not know that then.  So after I finally did a full laundry, I was so happy that i had decided to move into this place that you cannot imagine!  I felt like I was actually home after all.  How spoiled I am now with this in my own apartment.  Before that, we had to use a large laundry room which makes life pretty rough when having to carry huge loads of laundry. I have a cart but still and all it was inconvenient.  The fact that all I need to do is open a door and have a full sized washer and dryer just makes me so happy.

I opted to use cable tv since the apartment is set up for cable.  I had used satellite and I actually prefer the channels on the satellite dish to those on Cable but so it goes.  I am using the local Cox Cable with advanced ability to use on demand and music choices.  None of which I have done yet. I am not really ever that tied to tv. shows anyway but this is ridiculous.

I have seen a few movies on TNT that I had not know existed.  Sometimes I wish Hollywood would not make some films since I think that they contribute to the problems of the world too much.  Tonight's was a bad one about the USA being under attack by some vicious, hostile mean guys!  It was pretty scary but being a Hollywood flick, one knows it will always end successfully after all.

The heat has been unbearable this past week so I have spent my time indoors most of the time. I cannot take this high heat that much and I will not venture out into it unless absolutely necessary.  So I have been caught all week long, but it gave me time to work on unloading some of this stuff.  I worked on the bathroom this morning.

But i am sleepy already. I do turn my a.c. off at night.  I run it only half a day.  I am watching how much it costs to operate now.  I love the air conditioner. It is excellent.

So for now, that is the extent of my week here.  Things are way too expensive but I am on a buying freeze despite spending money on things that I am using to save my body and face....I did buy a Dyson fan from HSN because of the cost after buying a Lancome offer that was too good to refuse too.  So while I spent a lot of dough, I am learning that it is all worth it. Now I must find the way to pay myself back.

I will do it I promise myself that.

I Have A Dream - ABBA, Amira Willighagen, Connie Talbot

Amira Willighagen - 2015 Sanremo Junior Festival - Guest Appearance - AL...

Wednesday, June 17, 2015

Today has been a rough day.  I have been waking up at 6:00 for some reason in the past few weeks, and today was no different, but this time I decided to stay in bed to get more sleep.  It did me good.  I needed that but I had tried to keep from over exerting myself in work.  I have been going at such a pace that I am worn out, tired beyond belief, and made myself keep the amount of work to a minimum.

That is nearly imposible because there is just too much to do, and I hate all the boxes lying around on the floor, in the hall, and in the nook.  One can only do so much but I am trying to get it done without having a heart attack or killing myself or going insane.

So while watching Million dollar listings on Bravo, one item occurred to me that I had not yet found it so I went on a hunt to see if I could find it.  I panic easily, being surviving on nerves it seems, which are frayed, so I was suddenly stricken with fear that it was missing.  My little voice from within kept telling me that it was here, that I would find it.  That did calm me down.  And finally I found it.  My little voice had been right, and it kept me from going mad.  I also found two other things that I had been missing, so tonight every thing that I had missed was found.


I am thankful that I did take photos of the entire packing, moving, and unloading procedure because that did also reassure me that I had packed the object that I was seeking, but for awhile I wondered at why I could not find it, and why it was missing.  I kept thinking that I might have to make a claim, something I do not want to do.  I need not do it now and my faith in myself and others is reassured, but for awhile I was wondering.

Moving in itself is too much for anyone at my age, and I am happy that it is over.  However, if I move again, I will rid myself of everything so that I have nothing to worry about.  I am tired of all the knick knacks, books, clothes, and all the memorabilia that I have kept over the years.  I can see why when one dies, one should just get rid of everything and have nothing left to worry about.

Problem is when one is living, one wants and needs many of these same items which are so frustrating just to enjoy a reasonable amount of sentimentality towards small pieces of pleasure.

It was my dad's clock that I could not find, and a reference to gold plate made me think of it, and it scared me to think that I could not recall where I had packed it.  I finally found it along with some shoes that I could not find, and once I found them both, I was satisfied that everything is o.k.  There are some items yet that remain unfound yet but I am hoping that they will show up before  long too.  I just overlook some of these things without realizing it.

One of the reasons I did it all myself with the exception of the prof is so that I could not blame anyone for anything that might go wrong.

I did not go out at all today except to take some boxes to the dumpster and to move my car from one spot to another.  It was so hot early in the morning that I finally put two shelves together, set up my patio with one set, and then forced myself to rest.

I watched Millionaire listings on Bravo which showed me a side of New York City that I did not know existed.  I soon learned why one wants to become a millionaire.  The lifestyle in these apartment homes is unreal.

Pisses me off to be honest!  All these young new rich are frankly irritating but they are living in NYC in huge numbers!

Saturday, June 13, 2015

I have finally spent a week here and hopefully tomorrow I will have everything out of storage and into apartment.  I am crossing my fingers that I can get it all out tomorrow.  I brought in most of my books today, wondering what in the world is wrong with me to have to own so many books.  The books are fine when one is permanently planted but when moving about, they become the most difficult annoyance.

I got my plants back from Pat who had been so kind to house them on her patio for me.  I talked her into buying melon and unfortunately, forgot about it when I dropped her off so that today I am heading back to Scottsdale to return her newly acquired melon from Winco.  I am just too tired to think straight it seems.

I have to finish vacuuming the inside of my car too so I will do that on the way to her home and maybe drop some extra boxes off at U Haul which had taken in some for me the other day.

I am having some problems with t.v. yet but am not sure if it is due to cable or to t.v.  It works great sometimes and not so great other times.  I will visit them come Monday if all is not straightened out.

I reported a wasp that appears to be building a nest.  I have not seen the wasp today.  I did get a notification from the staff that they had taken note of my complaint.

It is going to take a long time to get this apartment arranged to where I know where everything is.  I have already done so much work but there is so much left to do.  Less is better and I am hoping not to have to buy anything at all now.

But I have a lot, and do not really need much more.  A few things yes.  I will get a dash camcorder for the windshield of my car someday...not sure when as it would have come in handy many times.

Just wanted to make an entry to keep up with all that I am doing at present.  Moving sucks as one of my neighbors said to me the other day.  It sure does...But today while taking some boxes to the dumpster a really nice guy asked if I needed help and I said yes....He took the boxes and put them in the dumpster for me.  I needed that. God bless him.

June 12, Friday

Yesterday afternoon the Cox cable t.v. technician arrived to connect my tv and internet so that I can use this computer here in the apartment instead of having to go to Starbucks and McDonald's or Mall.  What a relief that is despite the enormous cost.  In fact, if at the price he quoted it is not so bad.

I am so dead tired that I have often thought of crawling into my grave and just sleeping it all away, but with the dreams I have had I do not dare to even consider that yet.

Well, at last, I can finally sleep at night comfortably, and I have a great bath and shower system which was the real reason I selected this apartment.  I had liked the bathtub since I am a person who loves to soak for long soapy relaxation.  It was a good decision I admit.

There have been some strange problems that have occurred along the way in renting this apartment but since it is all behind me now, I am going to look ahead with anticipation to a great time here.  The neighbors I have met are very nice and I am happy for the time being with this country lifestyle.

A Winco grocery store is nearby and I bought the best cantaloupe there so that I will be buying more. Fry's had a great buy on strawberries so I have now both a huge box of blueberries, strawberries, and small box of raspberries.  So far, I have not made a smoothie though.

That will soon change, but I am still in the throes of unloading and finding a place for everything. I have too much so I must get rid of some stuff which may take me some time but will surely happen. I do need bookcases though...as I have a slew of books to take out of storage and bring in today.

Just too much work but in the end, I am sure that I will be happier here than where I had been before. The peace and quiet of the neighborhood have already made me know that.  I had too much traffic in front of my former apartment, especially with the doggie problem.

So in the final analysis, after only spending 6 days here I already feel I did myself a favor!  So I cannot be unhappy with the changes made at the McDonald spot!  It freed me.

Finally have a new home.

I moved into my new apartment on Sunday, June 7, and spent all day bringing in all the goods that I had stored myself in the garage which I rented for storage.  It took the entire day for me to get into my apartment all the loose ends that I had let wait to move, such as clothes, cooking utensils, and all the stuff that I had not wanted to be under seal for the duration.  I had already thought that I had too much for the garage to hold but the movers were able to make room for me to store the things that I had not asked them to move.

Because my bed was in the garage I slept on the air mattress that I had used at the former apartment until I had my bed set up.  Wow!  Have I ever appreciated my own bed now after all this.  I had to spend 7 days in a motel in which the bed was huge but the mattress was clearly not my own, and yes, it does always make a difference.

My body has been suffering ever since I took it upon myself to move all that stuff that had taken me two weeks to store so that I have been resting as much as possible.  I have more in storage that I must get out by next Monday.  I brought in some essentials today.

Today I did get my t.v. and internet plan set up through Cox.  The man who set up the t.v. and internet is one of the most interesting and helpful technicians that I have met to date.  He was so helpful to me that I can only thank him for his time and patience.  He was late getting here but stayed to answer all my questions, of which I had many, and to help me to understand how this cable system works.

He at least let me know how important that my Sony remote is for the t.v.   He said not to lose it no matter what.  Cable now also includes a remote to use for their system...Lord, there is no end to all this madness for sure.

I really liked him.  That and the shower system in my bathroom has made me appreciate the move to this place.  I said after taking a shower that it was worth the price of admission alone. I had selected this place due to the bathtub but the shower was so cool and so enjoyable that I realized I had made the right choice in moving here.

I have had some problems here and have wondered if I had been wanted here after all.  I had been given a garage that was closer to my apartment but with a manager change, the new manager decided to change the garage.  I do not know why for sure but it made me think that she is a problem for me.

Yet, she has been very nice to me and helpful at times when necessary so I do not know for sure what is going on here.  Is there some kind of power struggle between her and my rental agent?  I do not know.

Then the dryer did not work when I decided to wash clothes so that I had to go to a professional laundry shop to dry.  Maintenance did fix it yesterday so a note says. I have not yet tried it to see if it works or not.  He did replace the burnt lightbulb with a new bulb.

I am keeping all paperwork that I get from them now.

I do not have as much storage here as in the other apartment but i am figuring out  a way to make all this work.  It just takes time.

I am exhausted from all the work.  I have to finish emptying the storage I rented asap.   Most of it is books.

For now, I may be rambling but I wanted to make a record of events to date now that I have wifi and can use my computer again.

Monday worst ever!

I have to write this now that I am able to use my computer once again.  Last Monday, I foolishly decided to go to Payson because it is said that it is cooler up there.  What an idiot!  Route 87 is the most wicked road in the world despite its being a double lane highway divided into two lanes going north and south...a four lane actually.  But nobody tells you about its serpentine switchbacks, its long ascents and descents!  I may have been told once by my brother that it was typically mountainous but I had forgotten obviously, and just thought it would be a jaunt to go from Mesa to Payson!

We learn who our friends are this way also.

Anyway, stupidly, I went on my own, alone, with a full tank of gas, and used Bush Highway to connect to the 87.   I had suspected that Bush Highway might be pretty curving but it was mild in comparison.  Before I knew it I was climbing mountains with no chance of turning back since this is a two lane road built like a freeway with few exits.

I hate and despise mountain driving more than anyone can know. I have gone over many mountain roads in Colorado and I sincerely prefer straight flat valley roads.  So here I am, twisting and turning, going up and down, until I could barely stand one more darn Mountain!  Granted, yes, they are beautiful to see, but they become tiresome fast, and finally after seeing one truck sign descent too many, I stopped and pulled over and called 911.  I was ready for anyone to help me to get down off this damn mountain top.

 I talked to a couple of ladies and one asked if I wanted to be towed down, and I said no, but a highway patrolman could drive my car if I could get one.  She did not think that we could do that. I sat there, and said to myself, well, I could follow him.  Believe me, there are no highway patrolman on this road.  I was only 20 miles south of Payson at the time, and finally, I regained my nerve, and said, I will make it, as I had been saying to myself over 76 miles of this treacherous winding road all along.  I was driving along at 50 miles per hour when I got a telephone call from ADOT in Phoenix who asked where I was and what was I doing. I had already declared myself a traffic hazard as I was driving often at 35 miles per hour while cars were passing me at 65 miles per hour.

I said I see road signs, and that I am coming into Rye.  She said, "You are almost there."  My sweaty palms and I realized that I was getting near to Payson by this time so I kept up the pace to finally spot the casino at the right of me.  I drove into Payson and went to a Wendy's, and a Coffee Shop where I talked to a couple who answered my questions about other roads going out of Payson.  I did not want to have to climb another damn mountain again.

I calmed down, drove around Payson, found the sheriff's office, and talked to a blonde haired woman there who prob ably  had been the dispatcher on the 911 call.  She calmed me down, told me that 87 was the best route to the Valley.  Since I had already driven it, I knew it would be the only way that I could get back to Mesa so I told her that I had simply kept my eye on the center line all the time, that I have a bit of vertigo, and that I did not dare to look at the railings or the rim of the road.   She told me to keep my eye on the black...she reassured me that I could and would be right to take that road back as it is the shortest and quickest.  Also probably one of the most dangerous, believe it or not.

It is called BeeLine Highway by the way.

Anyway,  I went back to the Casino where I talked to men again who helped me to decide which way to take as I considered another possibility going around Roosevelt Lake, but they convinced me that would not  be smart.  They told me not to let anyone push me and to just get off the side of the road when I needed to take a break.

You have no idea what these roads are like climbing up and down mountains...pure terror for me...so I finally got up my nerve and hit the road to find that a construction site was set up with a sign that read RESPONSE TO EMERGENCY CALL. I waved at that, and saw orange cones lined up down the road, and black oil being painted onto the shoulder.  This lasted for some time, and I would see cars coming behind me so I would turn off onto the side of the road that was blocked off to let them pass, and I would follow them then.  I managed to do this for several miles, knowing and realizing that this is what ADOT had done for me, and so I finally got through the worst of the drive to finally, after a long tense drive, finally got to Fort McDowell, and Fountain Hills where I actually sped up to 45 miles per hour once again. I traveled the mountains as if they were a school zone doing 35 mph much of the time.

I know everyone who passed me hated me, but I did not give one big damn!  I was just determined to get myself through the ordeal and back safe and sound!

So here I am writing it out because it has taken quite the toll on me.  But I am so grateful to ADOT and the sheriff's department in Payson and the guys at the Casino for getting me through it all.

What a hell!  And believe it or not if you look at a map of AZ, Hellsgate is right outside to the east of Payson!

UGH!  Welcome to Arizona!