Yours Truly

Yours Truly
Janet Fauble at home

Sunday, November 20, 2016

Post Election

The election was on November 8, and it is now November 20, 12 days later.  Sadly, the Democratic party had some organization to begin protests that have lasted longer than  necessary, and have proved to be very annoying and irritating to the electoral process.  An ad promising to cause trouble at the January 20 inauguration was viewed last night. I should check to see if it is on youtube and put it on here. I may  do that.

At any rate, the transition is taking place with Donald Trump int3erviewing and selecting cabinet members.  So far, he has announced his security team.  The weekend talk shows have talked it to death.

Barack Obama is in Peru where a group of world leaders are meeting.  He and Putin had a frosty handshake  it is said.  Putin is friendly towards Trump and apparently, Obama is not happy about that.

I am not quite as interested in the ongoing process as some are. It makes me no difference who The Donald appoints for his cabinet.  It is his term of office, and he will succeed as long as he is comfortable with the men and women he chooses, no matter who they may be.  He is who has to deal with them everyday.

I still continue to tweet comments to him. I did today recommend Laura Ingraham for Press Secretary.  She is also high energy and enthusiasm besides being a really tough cookie.  So she might be easy on the eyes for the men to hear out, and that would be quite a change to say the least.

I am curious about who will be Secretary of State.  That is the job that Hillary Clinton used as her path to the White House.  I just will not discuss Mrs. Clinton right now.  It is too early for me to comment without some salty flavor.

I am not sure what kind of President Donald Trump will become. He is still using Twitter to complain about SNL skits on Saturday Night, and was put off by the cast member of Hamilton who called out to Mike Pence.  SNL insulted Donald big time, but it was so opposite of the truth that it could not be taken as anything but a total lie.  So he should have shrugged it off, and simply said, if that is all the better that you can do, that is your problem, not mine.

It is silly to worry about social satire except that it does sometimes prove who is friend or foe if you want to test that out.

Some truths may have come out in some ways.  The programming of CNN was parodied in a way that showed that it is all a scripted programming when their groups get together to discuss the election or now the aftermath of the election.


Monday, August 1, 2016

Update on August 1 to recent ongoing activities

July is over, and I am hoping that August will not be a repeat.  However,  I will describe this past month's activities in case I should decide to review this information at some future date.

One, I had my car serviced, got an estimate on its value should I decide to turn it in for cash or trade in, and then I had my carpet cleaned.  That was a great week since every man I met wa so sweet and nice to me that I felt wonderful all week long.   The UPS driver and the mailman even helped to make that particular week one of the better in human relations.  $21,000 is the estimate for the mileage.  Would be 3 to 4 thousand lower if I had higher mileage.  That is what the salesman told me.

Since I had moved everything out of the apartment into two rooms for the carpet cleaning, I spent the following week rearranging and changing the rooms around.  It was hard work that left me exhausted so that this past week I did as little as possible. I am really too old for thus kind of activity all by myself. I was reminded that the two lovely Mormon girls had offered to help me, but I have had either too much pride or too much stubbornness to let anyone help me.

My body continues to let me know that I am not a young chick or even middle aged hen, but am instead a really old timer whose time is quickly come near the end.  Just got another notice from insurance companies and cremation services to remind me of that small fact.  I think about it far more than one knows.  I have no idea when my last day will be.  I certainly live as though I have many years to go.

Both conventions are over. I did watch the Republican convention to see how it is that the Trump campaign handled their upcoming plan to win the White House. I did not watch the Democrats for anything but half of the roll call which went into nothingness after all.  There was some activity when the Bernie Sanders backers protested.  But nothing much came of it since the Democratic Clinton machinery had shut the true democratic process down.    Ted Cruz had addressed the Republicans without an endorsement of Trump but Sanders to the chagrin of his supporters did endorse Hillary.  His followers walked out on the proceedings.

At first, I was not going to send posts about either candidate on my Facebook feed until Sonja Berndt made it clear that she is too narrow minded and small to allow any dissent to her opinions.  She told me she just deletes my statements.  I then decided I would fight back hard by sending as many posts that expose Hillary for the puppet that she is.  I am so opposed to Hillary Clinton that I cannot do anything but push Trump into the White House.

I know that it is the people who have made Trump the nominee since they flocked to see him in droves, walked miles even, and are very serious about his victory this fall.


I am going to pause on this now. Will return later.  Had intended to use LiveJournal for politics.

Monday, July 25, 2016

Personal daily life problems

One reason that I continue to write statements is that there are days when I look back to see something that happened years ago, thanks to Facebook memories, and it is a good thing to write or keep a journal of one's thoughts no matter how significant or mundane they may be.

Right now, I am going through very difficult times. I have needed to have my eyes checked for new eyewear but have not yet done it. So when my glass frames broke, it has created a serious need to see an optometrist soon to get new eye wear or to have my cataracts removed.  Very important decision to make correctly now.

I just had a problem with tires on car, got car serviced, where everything went well, and even got an estimate on car's worth or value now if I should decide to sell it. The car registration has come in, and that is another expense that is eating away at me.  I have changed t.v. servers to save money, and am in process of deciding whether to keep wifi or not.

I am sure that having my vision corrected will help my driving the freeways as I think the problem is visual.

But I have yet to find the right person to do the deed. I remember Frank Caserta who told me to remember him when it is time for cataracts to be removed.

Then I had my carpet shampooed which meant moving everything out so that the carpet cleaners could come in. Turns out that most people do not go as far as I did in removing things but I made it easy and simple to do.   But now going through everything to find things to destroy, or give to charity is taking a lot of time. I have a tendency to hold onto things which in case of eyewear was a good thing. I am using an old pair of former prescription glasses.

So I am slowly getting things done but being a snail or turtle is costing me too.  But I can do things only one day at a time, and the heat bothers me so that is a factor too.

A young boy 12 years old died from going hiking in 110 degree weather. What were they thinking?

I stay indoors most of the time.

So now that I have emoted on just my daily problems, I will take a rest. I could go on and on about other things but that will be another post.  All for now.

Saturday, July 9, 2016

Recent Events

Personal problems

Last week on Sunday, July 3, I went to Winco shopping for groceries.  When I returned to my car, my computer signaled to me that I had low tires.  I did not know which one for sure, and as it turned out, it was all four tires that were too low. I had noticed when I first entered the car that I thought that they were low, but did not check my status control which might have given me a clue.  At any rate, I took the car to the nearest gas station which is right next door to my apartment. I could not read the gauge and had to ask for help from a nice guy sitting next to me. He was a very nice guy who filled the tires and checked using my tire gauge to make certain that I had enough air.  I was told when I first bought it that the tire pressure is supposed to be 32 pounds.  We got it that high at least, but when I called Chapman, the service man told me 38 to 40.  The computer is giving them o.k. and all are where they are supposed to be.  I was told that the tire pressure is on the door as well. I have not looked yet but I will.

At any rate, I made an appointment to have my car serviced this Monday where they will check the tires as well.  But it sure gave me a scare which I do not like to endure.

I am suspicious as to why all were down.  Maybe it is normal but it nonetheless has made me leary and extra careful.

I asked the young guy who helped me his name, and he told me Issac. I did not give him a tip even but only my gratitude. I had no money on me except to pay for the air for the tires.  I seldom carry cash any more. Luckily, I had $5.00 and it cost me$3.00. just for air.  I will not ever forget this experience.

_______________________________________________________________________________

Nation wide

All hell broke loose this week when two black men were killed by white police officers. Both were probably unnecessary, and it does look bad for both St. Paul, Minnesota, and Baton Rouge, Louisiana.  Neither deserved to die for their minor infractions but the police appear to be either frightened or trigger happy, or sadistic and cruel and prejudiced against black people.

As a result, in a black lives parade march in Dallas, Texas, some deranged man who hates white people and especially white officers, shot 12 of whom five were killed.  The man who acted alone was killed in a standoff between himself and the police.

This is the talk of the news all week long.  It is a sorry chapter in American current events.

_______________________________________________________________________________

Politics as Usual

FBI director James Comey appeared before a congressional hearing to demand an explanation for his decision not to charge former Secretary of State Hillary Clinton for mismanaging her emails in which several classified messages were sent or received on her personal server.  He charged her with recklessness and in competence in having the server in her basement, and in mixing business with personal emails but failed to find cause to consider her arrogance and disobedience likely to be held up in a court of law.  He was then interrogated by the committee who essentially made even the FBI interrogation of the former Secretary look as if it were a rather lax and unlawful query at best.  No transcripts were made, no oaths sworn, only a question and answer session upon which he stated she had not lied.  How he could make that assertion is more than anyone can know.  She lies at every turn.  Why be different now I am curious to know.

I think that FBI director James Comey failed his own test since he was not even present for the FBI q and a that his staff conducted.  I found him wanting to say the least.   In my opinion, when she deliberately told someone to clean the heading when it would not go through, that was intent.  She should have been charged for that alone.  However, classified materials are often items that one wonders why anyone would want it classified so since I do not know the contents, I only know that she wanted to receive it, but apparently it could not be sent until the heading was changed or altered.

Now it is up to the public to decide since the Democrats seem to think it a pass for her.  It should not be received that way.  There is a clearcut difference between Democrats and Republicans when it comes to law enforcement in this nation.

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Personal problems again.

I am getting my carpet shampooed on Tuesday, the July 12, and so have been moving everything out of the living room and hall and nook into the bedroom.    This is a job and a half to do. I am sorting things out and trying to rid myself of some junk and excess but it is slow going.

I have also been fighting mosquitos all week long and it makes me angry that they are so tiny and float around to make it difficult to hit them with my spray can.  I am going to spray everything Monday evening to make certain that they are gone after this carpet cleaning venture.  Am worried about the door being open during that process as I do not want bugs coming in after I fumigate the place.

Friday, July 8, 2016

Shopping Spree Frenzy

I am  at a turning point in my life now.  I signed a lease for another year so that I will be here in Mesa for another year at the least.  For some strange reason, I have gone on a shopping spree through HSN and QVC like there is no tomorrow.

Age is the reason and cause for this. One thing is that my passport will expire in 2017 and I must use it before too long or I will be sol.  But I have not made any plans on taking any trip anywhere since I have let my fears take hold of me. I have a flight to LA in September ready but am not sure where I will go or stay when I get there.  I have not let any of my friends in the area even know that I am planning on being there.  My plans are still undefined to do even that much.

I bought two items from QVC for which I am paying for four months...crab cakes from Emeril LaGasse, and Rib loins from Corky's, both of which area  sizable sum but I rationalized buying them on the basis of a simple lunch here in Mesa. I seldom go out for lunch due to the high cost for me.

I did cancel the autoship since I think I will be needing those funds for other purposes but I like both the crab cakes and the loin chops.  the loin chops provide at least two full meals so that is a very good buy for the price. Only $60 including s & h for 3 2 lbs of chops.  Excellent but not easy to heat since I never did get it up to temp on a grill but I suppose it worked in the oven to get to the necessary 160 degrees internal temperature.  I have a tool that tells me the temp.

The crab cakes are delicious but a little too much filler to suit me since another man came on with 80% crabs for $25 less on a special one day, and I more or less wondered what the heck is going on here. Until I got the crab cakes to learn how Emeril's taste, I had no idea.  The crab cakes are delicious but again only 3 oz. for 10 at $100.  $10 a cake is pricey even if half of what he charges at his restaurant.  But they are really delicious.  I wonder what the other guys taste like. To be honest,  I had never found any that I liked at all until I ate those sold by Emeril.  His are worth the price and the time to get.

Then to top it off, I had to order so many things one will wonder at me.  I ordered a poncho from Marla Wynne, and a cashmere sweater from Diane Gilman from HSN. Both are due in today so I will have to write an update after they arrive.  Then HSN had a sale on tablets  from Kindle Amazon Fire that were 2 for $100 so I bought those, and they are due in today also.  I bought a Curtis Stone everything pan that came in yesterday along with some gripsticks that also came in yesterday and have to admit that I needed both and am pleased with both.  I may never have to use my griddle/grill again.  I love the griddle/grill for pancakes and chicken breasts.  The chicken breasts that I make on the grill are the best ever, always moist and delicious.  So I guess I will hang on to the griddle/grill just for the pancakes and chicken breasts and steaks.  It is not a durapan but has the basic nonstick predurapan that Curtis Stone uses in his cookware.

Can you imagine a turtleneck cashmere sweater at $30...or a poncho sweater for $20?  Neither could I !  I could not resist trying it.  So when it gets here, I will see if I did right or wrong to order it.

So since i lowered my checking account by a lot, I have to win either the lottery or a huge exacta or trifecta race this summer. Will not say when.  But dang soon.


Friday, July 1, 2016

Poem from Sonja R of Holland

To the child who couldn’t understand
why nobody could understand.
To the one whose hand was never taken,
whose eyes were never gazed into by
an adult who said,
“I love you.
You are a miracle.
You are holy,
right now and
forever.”
To the one who grew up in the realm of “can’t.”
To you who lived “never enough.”
To the one who came home to no one there, and
there but not home.
To the one who could never understand why
she was being hit
by hands, words, ignorance.
To the one whose innocence was unceremoniously stolen.
To the one who fought back.
To the one who shattered.
To the never not broken one.
To the child who survived.
To the one who was told she was
sinful, bad, ugly.
To the one who didn’t fit.
To she who bucked authority
and challenged the status quo.
To the one who called out
the big people for
lying, hiding and cruelty.
To the one who never stopped loving anyway.
To the child that was forbidden to need.
To the ones whose dreams were crushed
by adults whose dreams were crushed.
To the one whose only friend
was the bursting, budding forest.
To the ones who prayed to the moon,
who sang to the stars
in the secrecy of the night
to keep the darkness at bay.
To the child who saw God
in the bursting sunshine of
dandelion heads
and the whispering
clover leaf.
To the child of light who cannot die,
even when she’s choking
in seven seas of darkness.
To the one love
I am and you are.
You are holy.
I love you.
You are a miracle.
Your life,
your feelings,
your hopes and dreams–
they matter.
Somebody failed you but you will not fail.
Somebody looked in your eyes and saw the sun — blazing — and got scared.
Somebody broke your heart but your love remains perfect.
Somebody lost their dreams and thought you should too,
but you mustn’t.
Somebody told you
that you weren’t
enough
or too much,
but you are
without question
the most perfect
and holy creation of
God’s
own
hands.

Sunday, June 19, 2016

Thought s on the election

Because Donald Trump made a fourth visit to the Valley yesterday, and because of the ongoing irrational reactions to his becoming the Republican nominee, I am writing about the upcoming election once again.

First and foremost with regard to the two candidates who will be on the ballot in November as of this time we believe is the fact that while both have garnered the most votes in the primaries of each respective party, neither appear to have so called favorable ratings.  That probably is a lot of b.s. in my opinion; otherwise, how could either have emerged the choice of their respective parties.

There does appear to have been a lot of back stabbing and cheating happening in both parties.  The Republicans who did not want Donald tried to prevent his getting the full support in states where it appears that some inside shenanigans happened: Colorado for example.  The ultra conservatives and the Bush family appear to be opposed to Donald because of his frank and candid speech about issues that are plaguing the nation today.  These issues are being exploited to the point of absurdity because most people understand that he is talking about the inherent danger of criminals who cross the border, no matter whether Mexican, Central Americans, or Muslims disguised as Mexicans.

There are also financiers who are paying protesters to carry signs and to disrupt things at a variety of sites where we do see the problems in a Democratic run city who will not offer protection for a Republican candidate: San Jose, California.

The nighttime comedy shows are all too obvious in their efforts to distort the truth as well...Donald Trump seems to be the biggest target for the obvious hatred of the four main comedians: Jimmy Falwell, Stephen Colbert, Jimmy Kimmel, and Seth Myers who all seem to have an axe to grind about a fellow t.v. personality having the audacity and courage to actually have a fan base who want to see him win the presidency.

Saturday Night Live, to their credit, did give Hillary Clinton as much time as they did The Donald, for she was lampooned in the same way.  One cannot help but wonder at the late night comedians as to their obvious invective against Donald but why is it that they cannot throw a few jibes at Hillary remains a mystery.  Is it because she a woman, and they fear alienating her female base?  That is far from equal, is it?

I am not really discussing the merits of either candidate in this post. I am more interested in the over reaction to each candidate or lack of reaction to either candidate.  No need to discuss Bernie Sanders because he was always the side show and never the main circus act.  Everyone knew that from the  beginning so it was rather interesting to see why it is that people flocked to see him.  That is still a mystery to me.  His cause has no appeal to me at all.  I considered him a sparring partner only, and he did not spar well until he finally got the idea into his head that maybe he could have a chance at the nomination.

The thing that has disturbed me the most about this election process is the bad boy behavior of the Republican party who appear to hate the Donald more than the Democrats fear him.  If they could not have their own way which obviously is contrary to the people themselves, they delight in distancing themselves from him.   This is why it concerns me so much about sour grapes Republicans.  They have proved the liars they are when they took a vow publicly to support and endorse the candidate no matter which of them it may be.  Now, they use the pretext that Donald has used insulting words to push them away...that was evident from the beginning yet they gathered round him then like crazy when he brought the ratings up so that people watched who had never watched before.

There was no doubt that Donald was scathing and rude at times, but it was apparently what the voters wanted as he drew fans and supporters from places that had scorned politics as usual until he came along.

People view politicians pretty much as they really are which is not a compliment to them; but as charlatans willing to say or do anything to gain prominence through elections and then give themselves perks and rewards uncommon to the general public.  Barack Obama had promised that all that a legislator receives should be the lot of the ordinary citizen, but he never pursued that idea once he reached his goal and what he really wanted, power in the Presidency. He forgot all his so called good intentions about the differences between legislators and citizens.

Whether Donald Trump is doing the same thing is something that will only be decided by the public when they finally vote. Will they give him the chance to make good on his many promises as well? Only time will tell.  In a future post, I will dissect the differences between the two candidates in term of what to expect from each one regardless of past performances.  In an election, the future is what is at stake, and is only determined by the winners.




Thursday, June 9, 2016

Update on Progress of Election for President

Thus far, there are three candidates whose parties have voted for them to be on the ballot in November.  Donald Trump, Hillary Clinton, and Gary Johnson represent respectively the Republican, Democratic, and Libertarian parties.  The primary elections are fundamentally ended despite a last primary this coming Tuesday in Washington, D.C. for the Democrats.

Rather than discuss the merits of each candidate, since each are apparently full of character flaws, handicaps in decisions and speeches, that I find it unnecessary to even get too excited about this election until after the convention and the onslaught of debates if there are any.  Gary Johnson would like to be included but apparently, there is a polling problem for him to meet if he is able to get on the stage at all.

He is the most unlikely candidate but he has made personal appearances on the talk shows whose main goal is to fit their hours with as much dialogue as they can about each and every candidate. He is the  CEO of his own marijuana company which he is now ready to abandon for the job of the presidency if he were to win it.  HaHa Ha!  Not a chance for him at all.

As time passes I will list all the positives and negatives about each of the candidates, but I am certain that the internet is filled with advertising on each one that will make most voters gag by the end of this election.  Already, we know more than we should about each one, and I do not really like the tenor of the talk shows at all.

I wil just say that Hillary is not a piece of furniture to be treated with kid gloves but some of the media are very patronizing and condescending towards her as the first female to win her parties nomination. It does look as though many in her party are unhappy with her candidacy so have switched to either Donald Trump or Bernie Sanders in their frustration and disgust at the prospect of a Clinton Dynasty.  Little girl from Arkansas trying to fill her husband's shoes is a bit too much for most people.

On the other hand, Donald Trump has most of the former elected officials in the Republican party embarrassed that their Grand Old Party prefers a business realtor to all the namely pamby senators, governors, and business woman and medical doctor in their contest.  Sour grapes is making the GOP look like a bunch of sad sack losers when they cannot embrace the man who the people dote on so much.  Donald Trump has a following of a mixture of GOP, disgruntled Democrats, and Independents to make an evangelical meeting envious of the crowds he draws.

Issue wise, it is an easy choice.  You either want a third term of the Barack Obama hang loose, you silly goose presidency or you want change from it. Somehow the slogan of Hawaii has made even that pretty island  chain look bad when accomplished the way Barack Obama has done it.  Of course, I am biased against open borders and lawlessness as practiced by the big bad Barack Obama.

It will be a long contest.  Mostly, it will ruin t.v. lovers who like to watch the summer programs when political ads pop up to annoy us with either how wonderful or how dreadful a candidate may be.

I am thinking about finding a place somewhere in the world to escape all this tomfoolery.




Saturday, May 28, 2016

What a day!

Years ago, I decided to learn who I had been in a former lifetime.  That discovery has impacted me ever since, and today, some interesting information from France really made me realize the truth of this.  You know, it is very hard to accept the truth even when it is staring you in the face.  I asked, I received, and today I am very grateful to the Facebook friends I have made who reside in France.

I learned that I had been Louis XIV, the French King who is responsible for the building of the Chateau de Versailles.  I did accept it as true at first, but things happen over time to confirm it repeatedly in a way that always astonishes me.  I received information about Madame de Montespan, one of Louis Quatroze's mistresses who was quite special to me when I was back in time, seeing her through my eyes ( the King's eyes) and so today I did an exploration on the internet and on the pinterest to see what all I could find about the Porcelain Trianon, Madame de Montespan's hideaway from the main Chateau and the Queen.  She had been a special attendant to the Queen by the way, and was quite the deceiver.

I remember her from two scenes in my memory search.  She was an extraordinarily beautiful woman in my eyes.  She was always there for me. I have drawn two portraits of her in my sketch book to remember her.

I now am convinced since one of them changed into present times who she had been in the present time.  I was torn between two men of my past, but I am fairly certain that it was the longer relationship of two really short relationships.  It does make some sense to me but it would be hard for anyone else to believe.

So I am grateful today for the French friends who have helped me to confirm for a fact that I had been the French king, not that I have doubted it but I usually say I was in his person, which is true in the sense that when I return to that time, I am in his spiritual body and I am he as he was then.  When I come back to my present state I am myself as I am today.  I tend to differentiate between the two since they reside in two different time periods and have two different lifestyles.  But always, inside, I am the King in that period as that led me to know that I had been Alexander in his lifetime.  I am undoubtedly a soul that has great power I am concluding. I had always accepted my spiritual powers for what they are, and I am often very honest and forthright about them in the privacy of my four walls, which I do not believe is private at all.

But today, at last, I finally relaxed to realize the beauty of my having been able to go back to the Porcelain Trianon where I have Athenais waiting patiently for me while her ladies in waiting tend to her demands and wishes.  I led quite a life in that time period I must admit.  Now, maybe I will write a story about it after all.

I guess I am just happy again to realize that my memories are there for me to keep.  That makes me happy. My mother had always asked me if I am happy due to learning these facts about myself. It takes times to fathom it all but when finally realized as I have done once again, I am very happy to have it all within myself to keep forever.  Thank God!  Yes, I know all the criticisms of the King, but I am happy to know that it is me who has to bear that after all.

Wednesday, May 25, 2016

Election Problems

The presumptive nominees for the November election are Donald Trump and Hillary Clinton.  Both have problems in fact that are making headlines today.  Donald Trump had a rally in Albuquerque, New Mexico, last night that brought about riots and vandalism.  Hillary today has been exposed by the State department for violating rules and regulations in having her own personal email server used to do government business.  She is in one heap of trouble with the government, and Donald is in one heap of trouble with his haters who are causing trouble wherever he goes whenever he holds a rally to arouse public interest in his run for the office of President.

In truth, at the end of this half entertainment/half soapbox bid for attention, both candidates are becoming more and more agonizing as time passes.  It is a mud wrestling game that is being played before the American public, turning some people on while turning other people off.

The presidency is an office that depends entirely upon the person who occupies the office.  It is a position whose job function is clearly defined. Some presidents are very personable, fun, entertaining, inspirational, and engaging.  Others are dreary, dull, insipid, foolish, and frankly dreadful.

We now have two candidates who neither fill the above description but who are so ill equipped for this job as to make one wonder what is the matter with the American public, or the political party system.  Donald Trump is a  realtor who dabbled in the world of t.v. with his show The Apprentice, a show that essentially trained its competitors to shake people down for money, and to build a business, using any method that was sure to show a profit, whether ethical or unethical. Donald clearly taught his group that stealing from an adversary was a necessary in business.

Hillary Clinton has been the ambitious spouse of a former president whose personal life nearly cost him the presidency.  His promiscuity with so many women brought about a despair for decency and honor in his so called married life.  One wonders yet about the truth about his wife who used public sympathy to gain a seat in the Senate in New York.  She then ran for the office herself against then junior senator Barack Obama who won despite his short life of service.  Whether it was because Hillary appeared tainted or simply unfit is conjecture as to why the Democrats decided to stick with the extremely green black/mulatto senator from Illinois.  Barack Obama seemed to use his race to make his way into the White House but has proved to be totally ineffective so that he has used executive powers to achieve some of his goals.  All of which can be rescinded if a Republican does win and decide to void all his work.

So Hillary became a secretary of state appointed by Barack Obama because I suppose he thought to appease her in some way.  Due to some serious problems, she resigned her position at the end of the first term so that John Kerry was appointed to replace her.  But Hillary has decided to make a run for the White House again, never satisfied with having been First Lady, otherwise known as co-op President, then Senator for one term, and then secretary of state who permitted through  neglect 4 men to die in Libya.  Ambassador Stevens, appointed by Barack Obama, had cried for help but received no response from his superior, the Secretary of State, so that it cost him his life along with men who tried to help him when under attack.  Benghazi is a bit of history that will plague Hillary forever.

Supposedly, Hillary does take credit for the Iranian deal made recently about the nuclear weapons in Iran, and the chance for Iran to re-enter the world of commerce once more.   Many people hate this agreement that was made after many months of negotiations because Iran has become the big boogey man for the world now.  Truth be known is that Iran has never been an aggressor in any military problem at any time.  It is only through their rhetoric against America that they have aroused so much enmity.  I frankly find it questionable that they are the big boogey man now to fear. I think that there are other fish in the sea far more dangerous than Iran, but American propaganda is fixated on Iran now.

So today both Hillary and Donald Trump are making personal appearances in Southern California trying to convince voters that they are the answer to America's problems.  Protestors caused some problems in the Anaheim appearance that Donald held, and apparently, are also out in full force at the taping of a Jimmy Kimmel episode in Hollywood.

Hillary draws only small crowds, but the media blows her appearances up so that we get a glimpse of Hillary's attacks on Trump, and then we hear Trump blast either Martinez of New Mexico, Elizabeth Warren of Mass, or Hillary Clinton, who is his real target.  He likes to make fun of them as much as he can, which in fact, makes me wonder what is his point to let the world know that they get under his skin.

Now this is my solution to the Governor Martinez problem in New Mexico.  I would have greeted him, said welcome to New Mexico, but I will not attend your rally because of your comments about Mexicans being rapists and murderers.  If I am to support you, we must get this problem of illegal immigration solved together.

In Donald's shoes, I would have said, Thanks for your hospitality. I will try to smooth things over for you and your constituents.

In the case of Elizabeth Warren, I would have said that her comments about my business ethics is something that she can criticize but it only shows her ignorance about sound and good business decisions.  I would not have name called her at all.  She is not Pocohantas, a heroine in American history that has proved that Donald does not even know when he is flattering her instead of insulting her.  Goofy is something that should not be used to describe any elected senator serving her state.

As for Hillary, I would not bother to discuss Donald's insult tactics. I would simply say that while Donadl may be trying to be a comedy act like Donald Rickles, he has failed miserably since he is trying to prove that he is worthy of the office of President.  I do not think that insult artists are suitable to be elected president.

As for Donald about Hillary, I would simply say that because she is under the scrutiny of the FBI, I need not point out how much trouble she is in.  That speaks for itself.

Donald has not yet risen to the level of a man capable of being a president who is to be respected and admired for any reason.  Instead, he continues to put himself down with his childish antics.

People want a president to be honorable, admirable, and respectable.

Both parties failed to deliver that person but instead have given us Donald Trump and Hillary Clinton.

Both had better grow up soon, because either could be elected to find themselves very quickly hustled out the door to be certain their backup, the VP, could replace them quickly.  Any future vp possibility had better think seriously how soon he or she might become the replacement if either of these two candidates are elected to the office.

Reincarnation Studies

I have discussed my experiences in past lifetimes on this blog many times.  I even published some of my drawings that are related to the moment that I learned of the details in a past lifetime, which granted are childish, but what the heck, the idea was to capture the memory as best I could to refresh my memory.  Being hypersensitive to all my ideas being so easily used by others I am very careful about how I draw and sketch as well as express the experience in words.  Having learned how one can be paid per word, I am careful to use my words carefully as well. I know that copy and paste, plagiarism, and screen shots now make it possible for any thought to be used by another as if it were their own. Yahoo alone taught me how easy it is to switch names on any piece written in a discussion group.  One can be accused of saying someone's  statements that one did not make at all, and I frankly do not appreciate that problem that is so pervasive on the internet.  I do not use yahoo discussion groups any longer, except to read and respond.

So on that note, to review my past lifetime experiences, they involve historical men of renown, and an original man who I call cromagnon man without really knowing that that first incarnation can be truly identified in any way at all, except that I lived in the days of saber toothed tigers, and crashing boars, in a jungle atmosphere of extreme vegetation growth.  I saw myself in my caucasian status as a male figure who is a hunter, who faced both saber toothed tigers, and crashing boars, and that is about all I recalled from that time period.  Later, I learned of various personalities of historical significance which dumbfounded me no end to understand how I could have lived as so many different men, but the soul is the answer and I was able to learn details about those men that has been verified to my satisfaction that my memories are accurate and correct in many respects, some of which can be proved even yet, but other details too personal for anyone but me to know.  Why it is that I am female today with only spiritual powers to make me understand all this is something I cannot fully explain except that it leaves me off the hook to be held responsible for anything of any real historical merit now.  Even if significant people today did use me as a model, I cannot be held responsible for anything that they have done as a result of that. They made that decision for themselves.

I do not intend to regurgitate each and every lifetime in this discussion with myself right now, but I have decided to record what happened yesterday to explain why I am writing this now.

I have been contemplating the end of my life now, when it will  happen, and how I will live until the time when it does happen.  I have to plan for the next few years of my life.  I could live to be 100 but I frankly doubt it. I have always thought it will be probably be into my 80's but it could be in the 90's if I am as strong as my dad or grandmother who both lived into their 90's.  I do not want to ever go into a nursing home, so I will probably have some trouble as I get older finding the right housing situation. I am still thinking of a mobile home if necessary.

But because of one former lifetime I have always thought that it was to let me know how long I might have, and I thought it could be the mid 80's.  So yesterday, I inquired into the lifetime of the person who I believe may be a clue to number of years it will be until I die.  The reason for this is that one evening I was standing outdoors watching a swirling light in the sky that was directly over our neighborhood when I lived in Scottsdale on Palacio.  I watched this wing like formation circle round and round and came indoors to notice a tiny red spot on my leg directly beneath my knee.  I did associate it with the person of the past who I had read had some  problem with his leg after falling off a horse some 15 years before his final demise. I got it into my head that I had at least 15 years to live which would be in my mid 80's at that time.  So I wanted to learn more about his life yesterday to see if it would shed any light on me now.  I did learn a lot as I was able to see him on horseback and learned how it is that he did fall off the horse to get the injury.  It was an interesting vision to say the least, and then I was told that all my nose bleeding problem had been due to that person's life.  It made sense to me, and I considered another thing, which is the wrought iron trim that my dad had bought for the patio and gate at the house on Palacio.  One never knows what will trigger something but the nose bleeding actually began after I had taken some natural herbs for mild depression.  I always associate those together too, and so I stopped the use of the herb.  But the nosebleeds only increased and were often very bad.  Many different answers to that but fortunately, since I have moved into another city, I have had no problem here but on two occasions which were both mild, and one one intense.  Pray that they do not return ever again.  I hope.



Blood clots are the answer or key to the problem.

One additional thing I will add since i have revised and edited this considerably.  I have learned that famous people are often studied by very possessive and strange people.  I use only my inner knowledge as the guide for me now to understand any and all of them, and leave it up to the historians and biographers to write their own tales for their own reasons.  I do not want to ever get into a debate with anyone on any of the details that I know have convinced me beyond any doubt that I am who I say that I am, and have been.  This mortal flesh will pass but the soul will survive again for all eternity, however long that is, for it is different in man's lifespan than in actual infinity.  The soul is a constant living entity in its own right, existing in both flesh multiple times, and in spirit, eternally.  Each and every soul is an intelligence quality that surpasses man's understanding.

But because again, I am protecting myself in even this blog post, I can only say so much at this time in the mindset that I am in right now.




Friday, May 13, 2016

  18,30,40,48,52   PB09
                                              12, 27,29,43,68  PB01.
                                              15,20,29,31, 40  PB01   29, 40  01pb
                                              48,49,57,62,69.  PB19
                                              30,32,42,56,57   PB11
                                              20,31,56,60,64   PB02    20, 31, 56
                                              04,54,56,62,63   PB10    56, 62
                                              09,20,25,47,68   PB07    20
                                              02,12,17,20,65   PB17
                                              07,16,25,50,53   PB15    25
                                              04,26,32,55,64   PB18    04, 32, 64
                                              14,22,37,45,66   PB05
                                              17,40,41,46,69   PB06    40, 69
                                               37,47,50,52,57  PB21    37, 47, 50, 57
                                               16,29,53,58,69  PB21    16, 53, 69  21pb
                                               02,06,47,66,67  PB02    47, 66, 02pb
                                               14,18,19,32,64  PB09    14, 18, 32,64,09pb
                                               13,27,33,47,68  PB13    47, 68
                                               07,10,16,46,56  PB01    07, 16, 46, 56,01pb
                                               02,14,19,30,62  PB22    02,14, 19, 62
                                               09,10,32,42,55  PB06    09,10, 32, 55 06pb
                                               28,30,41,59,68  PB10    30,41,68  10pb
                                               16,38,55,63,67  PB25    16, 55, 63,67
                                               27,40,44,59,65  PB20    27, 40, 59, 65
                                               12,36,38,54,61  PB22    12, 38,  22pb
                                               05,06,15,29,42  PB10    15, 29, 42  10pb
                                               02,11,47,62,63  PB17    02, 47, 62, 63 17pb
                                               16,19,32,34,57  PB13    16, 19, 32, 57  13pb
                                               04,08,19,27,34  PB10    04,  19, 27, 34  10pb
                                               03,51,52,61,64  PB06    52,61,64,,06pb
                                               05,39,44,47,69  PB24    05,44,47,69  24pb
                                               22,32,34,40,69  PB19    22,32,34,40,69,19pb
                                               03,12,40,52,67  PB21    03,12,40,52,67 21pb
                                               05,12,16,31,43  PB18    05,12,16,31,43  18pb
                                               26,28,31,60,67  PB23    26,31,60,67
                                               04,13,31,36,52  PB08    04,13,31,36,52
                                               02,03,40,50,62  PB05    02,40,50,62
                                               07,15,18,19,36  PB20    07,15,18,19,36  20pb
                                               07,17.27,29,40  PB25    07,17,27,29,40  25pb
                                              11,12,15,16,54   PB25    11,12,15,16,54  25pb
                                              21,31,64,65,67   PB05    31,64,65,67       05pb
                                              10,11,21,22,53   PB18    10,11,21,22,53  18pb
                                              12,13,44,52,62   PB06    12,13,44,52,62  06pb
                                              03,27,34,59,69   PB19    03,27,34,59,69  19pb
                                              14,23,32,34,68   PB03    14,32,34,68
                                              11,28,50,57,62   PB23    11,28,50,57,62  23pb
                                              10,12,13,46,50   PB21
                                              11,23,43,54,60   PB03
                                              05,08,15,22,49   PB25
                                              11,23,42,52,68   PB06
                                              24,44,53,55,63   PB19   44,53,55,63  19pb
                                              09,28,30,40,61   PB03
                                              04,28,49,60,65   PB25
                                              14,22,23,41,61   PB09
                                              30,33,35,38,64   PB22
                                              03,18,25,32,51   PB03
                                              12,25,30,52,62   PB08
                                              19,35,46,59,62   PB13
                                              02,25,33,39,64   PB17
                                              03,12,16,32,34   PB14
                                              30,47,57,66,69   PB03
                                              05,25,26,44,66   PB09
                                              20,32,52,62,69   PB23

These are the power ball numbers that have come in since October 7, drawings Wednesday and Saturday nights.
                                         

Thursday, May 5, 2016

Madame de Maintenon Part 5

Through the King's Eyes

Francois favors my Queen, Adoringly
Marie Therese, my cousin twice,
Pure Innocence, Sweet Child,
Princess of Spain, became betrothed
To Create an alliance with Spain.

I love her sweet character, her gentle
Way, Pious, Faithful, Loyal to me.
No bride could be so sublime as she.
Her language is Spanish, not French,
For she has never mastered Francais.
Dull in conversation, she knows
Nothing of Worldly affairs, Fortunately
For me to have her consent without
Argument. All that is hers is mine.

She adores me, expects me to to be
Faithful only to her, which I cannot do.
I love too many others to be loyal.
I am the rooster in the henhouse
Where all the women want me to
Admire them, gift them, love them.
As King I must keep my court
Happy, Content, and Fulfilled.


My Queen cries to my mother
Because of my love for Louise.
Louise rides with me to the hunt,
She soothes me in my pain,
She is patient, kind, and gentle,
Which my queen fears will
Steal me away from her.  She does
Not realize that our wedlock is
A matter of State, a Seal that
Cannot be Broken. A romance
Is an Affair of the Heart, To
Be Mended by only Love Divine.

I love my Queen with devotion
For She is the Crown as am I.
We are in a bond that is eternal,
While Louise is an affair of the heart,
For which she finally did depart.
Only a few can understand
The requirements for a King,

A queen must be of royal blood,
For children to succeed, to fulfill
The Nation's need, the State's will.
A King must produce successors
Who will continue to reign
For Prosperity, Fecundity, Peace,
Harmony, Order, Security.
The King's burden of state
Is ruled by men of quality,
But love is fulfilled by woman's
Frivolity, Affection, and Passion.

My Queen is my heart and soul,
She reigns with me in glory.
Sweet and kind that she is,
Louise fills me with bliss.
Each is important in her way,
No reason to fear while I play.
I love both with all my heart,
Tender Marie, Gentle Louise.
Only a King will care as I.


Wednesday, May 4, 2016

Madame de Maintenon Part 4

Through the eyes of the King

Francois has a sharp wit and a keen eye,
She misses nothing, but minds her own affairs,
She appears discreet, humble, and unassuming.
She is such a sharp contrast to Athenais.
Demure, clam, aloof, she is frightening to many.
She seems to want nothing for her time,
Shunning marriage, suitors, and entertainments.
While Athenais must be the star, the center,
Francois prefers to avoid the Court altogether.
I doubt that she would bother with me
Except for the many children we have .
We talk quite often about my sons and daughters.
She assures me that they are healthy and well.
Except for my lame son who she nurtures as her own.
She tends to them while Athenais ignores them.
I study Francois carefully. She has no need of me.
She wants nothing from me.  What an oddity!
A stranger to my court where everyone presses me for favors,
She alone asks nothing of me.  How do I please her then?

So I question her.  I ask about her childhood.
She tells me stories that create pity in me.
She has traveled far, forced to cross the Atlantic
In a ship overcrowded, putrid food, rough seas,
To finally live with hostility and fear.
At 16, to escape the nunnery, she married.
Paul Scarron, a poet, an invalid, a man of letters,
Who taught Francois the skills of a hostess.
Quick to learn, Francois entertained all of Paris.
She bore him no children. Left a widow
Francois was known as discreet and humble.
Athenais trusted her to  care for our children.
Francois and Athenais depended upon one another.
I watched both women closely, for they fought
Screamed, and tormented each other loudly.
Who could possibly win this battle of wits?
The humble and unassuming Francois?
The haughty and mighty glamorous Athenais?

I waited.


Madame de Maintenon Part 3

through the eyes of the King

Louise, that gentle sweet tender love.
Innocent, so naive, so trusting,
I loved her with a passion that
Enflamed my very soul.
She was Heaven divine to me.
Holy, Sacred, Pure, Chaste.
No other lover has ever known
The Flower of the Universe,
Louise de la Valliere.

She gave me total trust,
Devotion, Loyalty, Purity.
Her piety tore her away from me.
She felt guilt, shame, remorse
For the Love that bore me
Four loving souls undefiled.
How could she be so insecure?
Display so many fears to
Run away to the Convent.
I implored her to stay.
She cried soulfully, praying tearfully,
But she returned to me.

All the while Athenais, wantonly desirable,
Worked her many charms, desperate,
Fed me witches potions to snare me,
Screamed, tormented by my
Deep Love for my Innocent Louise.
I was torn between the two women
One who was half demon, half witch,
The other, pure angel, divine love.
Each bore my children,   given to
The faithful and true Francois
Whose Love made them holy and divine.
The demon wrestled me away
From Purity because Innocence soon learned
That she could no longer feign Love
When her ardor and longing had cooled.

My sweet innocent Louise repented her sin,
Entered a Carmelite nunnery to pray,
Atoning for her years of love with me,
Turning against our children, spurning me.
I cried inside, nobody knew,  I loved her so.
Athenais made me forget the sin, the fragile love,
With her passionate, wanton caresses.
She aroused me like no other lover.
I succumbed to her deep, sensual desire for me.
I let her tongue soothe my deepest need,
Her hands stroking and soothing my brow.
Her breasts pressed onto my chest.
Her mouth pressed upon mine as she
Thrust her tongue into mine,  I held her close.
We became as one. I turned upon her .
Louise was gone. Athenais has won.



Madame de Maintenon Part 2

Athenais extends a slender arm,
Curtsies slowly with head bowed,
Heavy orange and jasmine fragrance
Accentuates the emerald jewels
Gracing her ample bosom.
Wearing a gown of satin and lace,
She rises with confidence
That she will command attention
From her intended lover, The King.

"Do you like this look on me?"
She questions Francois, the Widow Scarron.
Is my curtsey straight enough?
Does the necklace make my skin glow?
Madame, tell me, will I please the King?
Have I enough scent?  I implore.
She suddenly sniffed! Do I need your approval?
Please, let me know your thoughts.
You always know how to appraise me so."

Madame Scarron lifted her eyes, sighed,
"Athenais, You look proper for the court.
Perhaps a little too much rouge,
A bit heavy on the perfume,
But it will wear off soon enough.
You know that the King does not like
Heavy scents of orange and jasmine.
Why do you try to annoy him so?
That is all I will say.

Athenais pleaded, "I know. I know."
But I love the orange and jasmine scent.
The King pays me scant attention now.
He is so besotted with that Louise!
What does he see in that flaxen blonde?
She is flat chested.  She is like a boy.
Why doesn't he like me instead of her?
I want him so much to love me.
What shall I do? Please tell me."

Madame Scarron sighed softly.
"I wonder at you. You are truly wicked
To desire him when he is married to the Queen.
I do not want to encourage your lust for him.
Louise is another matter. She is soon to leave.
You have him coming to your room,
Embarrassing both Louise and the Queen.
Louise at least has honor and regrets
For the four children she has had with him.
You do not even care about your own firstborn.
You know I disapprove of this match."

Athenais shrugged, "I don't care what you think.
I must have him for myself.  He no longer loves Louise.
I wonder if he ever did.  He does not love me either.
He loves only himself.  He loves only France.
I cannot hold him without you, Francois.
You are the only hope I have of keeping him.
He is tired of Louise, I know.  He will let her go.
But I want him only to myself.  You must help me.
I must look always divine.  I must be witty.
I must keep him in line.  I must please him at all costs."

Francois turned sharply. "Me? You need me to keep him?
How is that?  I am not your keeper, Athenais.
I am only your governess.  I am caring for your children.
Because they are the Kings is the only reason that I care.
How is it that you think that I can help you in your madness?
I did not want to come to the Palace but you insisted.
Perhaps it was the King who insisted? I don't really know.
But I do not  want to be a part of your lust for the King.
You only want power, influence, and gifts.
You want to enhance yourself,  to insure your place,
You will stoop to nothing to have your way.
No, do not use me for your wicked intentions."

"Well, look me over, and tell me I am beautiful.
I will be ready for the games tonight with my lover.
I will do as I want, with or without you, Francois.
I can take care of myself.  I will enjoy myself.
You may think me wicked, but I think that I am wise.
I know what the King really likes, and it is me, not Louise.
I will make him happy and content with me.  I assure you.
I do not need your approval but you are beholden to me.
I will not let your forget that.  He is mine now."
















To Madame de Maintenon

From the King:

When I first heard her voice,
Low, calm, loving,
I waited to see her face.
Bent over the sleeping child,
She sang a ditty, a song,
Slowly, peacefully,
Lulling the infant to sleep.

She looked up to see me,
A soft smile, then laughter,
Francois winked at me,
Holding the babe in her arms.
Sitting upright, she sang softly,
The babe sound asleep.

I stared at her, carefully,
I walked over to her,
Picked up the sleeping child,
Carried him to his bed,
Humming softly all the while.

I laid him down to glance back
To see the governess nod,
Her face aglow with a warmth
That radiated love divine.
She rose, bowed, and departed.

I looked at the sleeping child,
His pink cheeks glowing,
His tiny fingers clenched,
Dark eyelashes lowered,
Resting in peaceful dreams.

"I am grateful to you,"
I bowed to the Governess,
"For caring for my son."
I believe that you are
Devoted and loyal to me."

She curtsied, looked up at me
With a sharp eye, lowered her head,
"My deepest pleasure, votre majesty!
"I love this child, your son,
I shall do my duty with the
Fullest Devotion and Love that I can."

I took her hand, lifted it to my lips,
 Bowed,  and took my leave.
As I walked out the door,
I raised my head to see my carriage.
Entering, I glanced back at the home
Where my child safely dwell,
Secure and safe, my beloved son.










Tuesday, May 3, 2016

Update on Political Races

Indiana has finally turned the race for President around.  Ted Cruz decided to suspend his campaign since he lost heavily to Donald Trump who won the primary by a large margin.  It seemed to surprise Trump who at his victory speech called Ted Cruz a great competitor.  Earlier in the day, he had been discussing the cover of National Enquirer's expose on Cruz's father.  Ted and his father defended themselves denying the story. I have not read it but I wondered at why this is an issue.  It shows a man standing near Lee Harvey Oswald in Dallas who apparently is thought to be Ted's father.  Why it would matter is something I do not understand since he is a minister of a church group. It is never odd for ministers to try to help counsel prisoners in  a jail situation.  But I have not read the National Enquirer story but find it odd that Trump would want to discuss it as if it had any significance at all.  Tacky. Tacky!

However, Cruz claims that it is not him.  I just think it interesting that it comes up only because Ted is trying to win the nomination for the GOP.  Donald should know better but alas and alack, he is like some big gossipy tattle tale himself.  However, except for Stephen Colbert, the story did not get the airing that Colbert exposed tonight which I appreciated.

Thanks, Stephen.

I had stuck my neck out defending Cruz if he had been the man in the picture. I see nothing wrong with it at all.  But since he does not want to take credit for being a spiritual counselor to a man accused but not proved so be it.  Nobody has ever proved convincingly that Lee Harvey Oswald is the lone assassination. It is just a rush to judgement  for which he claimed his own innocence. So many conspiracy theories about the assassination still fill book shelves.

Bernie Sanders defeated Hillary Clinton tonight in Indiana.  He is not dropping out and hopes to have a contested convention in the Democratic party.  This race is as contentious with charges of corruption and rigged set of rules to tip the nomination to the person the super delegates choose. Unfair to the voter who has definitely let his voice be heard.  So what will happen?  Can't say for sure yet.

I have not bothered with the Democratic debates because of Hillary's voice.  Her voice is so shrill and over bearing at times that I consider it a punishment.  I do not want that kind of punishment to be hoisted upon this country since I do not think we deserve that any longer.  She has been in the Democratic political service role far too long as far as I am concerned.  I consider her husband and wife team to be the most damaging and harmful that Americans have had to endure.

I have been very critical of Donald Trump but I prefer him to Hillary.  Donald has been a very strange candidate in his bid for the office but he has had such massive acceptance, it is hard to believe.  He hit some nerve by talking straight and boldly to the American public that he has achieved a unique role in modern history.  He has brought people to the voting booths who had not voted at all or in recent times.   They love him and his brash, saucy tone and insulting jabs.

I have never taken him seriously until he made a statement that convinced me that maybe he did actually want to win the White House after all.  His comment about brokering a deal between Israel and Palestine did impress me as sincere.  Generally, I think him as full of hot air as any salesman trying to make his pitch.

But I think that Hillary takes herself too seriously, thinking that she could actually follow her husband into the White House and the Oval Office.  Today, she was shown trying to explain her speech about putting coal miners and coal companies out of business to a group of coal miners in West Virgina where she had to explain how she misspoke.  Trump jumped on it, promising coal miners would be working again.  Oh, politics is a real Hell.

It will continue to June 7 when at last the last states have their say.  Looks like it will be Trump and Hillary unless Bernie sways some of the super delegates to vote for him.  But the ballots are made out already and will include Cruz name on those in the remaining states so that some will no doubt vote for him even though he is out of the game.   Rubio collected votes in Arizona since his name was on the ballot.

So time will tell.  I will be happy when it is over but do not want to wish my life away either...

Monday, May 2, 2016

My Versailles

I just read a poem that has made me think I should try one of my own.

Golden lights bounce off the walls,
Green lawns glisten with wet dew,
Morning has come to the chateau,

Birds fly from tree to tree,
Singing a song of love
Butterflies wing above

Flowers gently sway
Fragrant scents linger
I feel the bee's stinger.

Scallops, shells, and stones
Glorify the ancient sea,
Home of Goddess Thetis

Fountains casting rainbows
Calling you to me,
Where I wait patiently

This is my special home,
You are my eternal soul,
While we in Heaven dwell.

We take our escape
In the woodland paths
To flee nature's wrath.

Aesop's fables created
For my son to learn
Lessons in every path's turn.

My glory is all around'
For the world to know
That   I reap what I sow.

My creation to honor
My father who stole away
To silently play and pray.

His burden passed on to me
I now bravely make my own
For France, I sit upon the throne.

My chateau is open to all,
My subjects come and go,
Here my heart rests all aglow.

While I am the first,
Many others will follow,
After today is always tomorrow.

My porcelain trianon
Favorite chinois accents
In Blue and white ornaments

Paradise of creation,
Children born of love,
Destined for Heaven Above,

Patient beauty within
Full of passion and romance,
Leads me to her not by chance.

Athenais, full of grace and charm,
Poisons me with her mind,
Her potions meant to bind.

My gentle wife, my cousin,
My dearest friend waits to know
Whether to her bed I will go.

Tinkling bells ring loudly
To assure the world that I, the King
Have made her heart eagerly sing.

My Queen is pleased at last
Another child to the world will give
But sadly, only the first will live.

The potions and the charms
That Athenais used to seduce
Ended in sorrow profuse.

Grotto of Thetis, Porcelain Trianon,
Passions torn asunder must raise
A chapel worthy of Praise.

The Chinese Trianon will grow
Into the Grand Trianon, a pink marvel,
The blue and white now pink marble.

No sooner do I create perfection,
Than I must require destruction.
All that is old is replaced by new.

Until Marly at last I devise,
For my personal freedom and pleasure,
The enchantment that is my treasure.

Marly, dressed in blue and white,
Airy, spacious, open and free
Where everyone is equal to me.

The main Chateau built from the Hunting Lodge
Remains the source of government and family,
But Marly is always the retreat meant only for me.

































































Saturday, April 16, 2016

Moments in this Lifetime

This is actually a followup to the previous post in which I am explaining how a video brought back all my memories of a time when I was in the person of Alexander the Great.  I did mention in the previous post about the lack of joy in Alexander's life so that I thought I should write about this lifetime's experiences which have given me great happiness.

My first great happiness is probably in grade school whenever I fell in and out of love with a variety of boyfriends.  Love is always the same in its feeling within a person.  It gives one the greatest happiness and joy no matter whether it is requited or not.  It is the act of falling in love and loving to be in love that impresses me more than anything else does.  It is a heady feeling, a lightness of spirit, a joy that causes one to tingle when one spies the beloved one, that makes one have butterflies in the stomach, fearing that one will say something stupid, and all the other crazy things that infatuation, being in love does to one.  One feels like doing hand springs, dancing, twirling round and round, and just drifting into a dream fantasy about the loved one.  It is a form of craziness that nearly every child experiences at one time or the other, and I feel sorry for those who say that they never have known it.

I had beautiful baby teeth, but my permanent teeth were big and parted in the center, so that I developed a deep complex about my appearance during my adolescent years. I did not see myself as others saw me, but I saw only my two front teeth.  I disliked them.  I became shy at last. I had always been bold, forward, and aggressive, but between my two front teeth and my changing into womanhood with a period, I withdrew instead of staying outgoing, warm, and friendly.  I actually became a bit shy and reserved.  Although when working at the drug store, I was still as open, honest, and friendly as I had ever been as a child.  I always forgot myself so that I did just naturally open to customers. I am a people lover, and especially love to sell products to them.

But I never lacked for having a boyfriend to dream about, but never to really have.  In my younger years, I had been able to have many boyfriends who liked me and with whom I played holding hands and walking each other home from school.  I was a secure little girl in those days, but alas and alack, adolescent poses new and different problems.

So I did not know true love until I reached 20 where finally I fell in love, knew the love of a man, and ended brokenhearted because we were so far apart in too many ways to ever marry one another.  But that love is one I never forget, always hold dear, and still thank in so many ways now that I have lived long enough to know that sweet love is always the BEST!    So that is an emotion that I can never forget!  I still remember moments from that time in my life when the Music Man was the cause for hearing the tune Til There Was You!  So True for me...Love was all around, but I never knew it at all, until there was YOU!

I had other loves after that first best love, but none that will ever be as memorable no matter what.  I always found some man in my life to love for a short time, and nearly would marry, but better sense, fear, or just a guardian angel on hand to prevent it, who knows, I did not marry any of them.  But for a time I fancied myself in love again, as love seems easy to know with certain kinds of men,  and managed to escape the marriage inevitably that follows.  Why is that ?  Me? Them? Or just the realization that marriage is too long a time period to be locked in with any  one person.  I always thought that if this one did not work out, it was not meant to be.  After now realizing that each may be related to past lifetimes, I view the involvement at an entirely different level than I had when ensnared in the romance of each person.

Usually, it is my education, or intelligence that seems to be the reason or cause that I did not finally tie the knot. I was told by one that while I am educated and intelligent, I did not lord it over him, but the very fact that he mentioned it told me that it had mattered to him.  Men often use that as the excuse to be through with a woman, or the very cause to like that woman.  It varies from man to man and woman to woman. In my case, it did not matter that much to me.  Most relationships are based upon sex more than intelligence as it turns out.  If he found me attractive romantically and sexually, he stayed with me. It was not my mind that he was attracted to or my cooking talents.  Actually, today, cooking might be a good cause to take me as a wife, but not when I was young. I was pretty dismal at both cooking and housekeeping.

So except for a spiritual experience in which I was seeking my soul mate, and managed to find Heaven in Sacramento when I went to see Governor Brown in person, I have only those in love experiences as great highs in my life.  But finding perfect love is the greatest joy I have ever enjoyed and probably will ever know. I always give Jerry Brown credit for his role in the moment  I had Heavenly love envelope me totally while watching him at a special assembly.  I still recall and relish that moment most of all. Again, younger than springtime, I was in love, a love like no other.  I really was in st. Paul's Perfect Love definition of which he tells.  NO jealousy, no fear, no doubt, Perfect Heaven! Love is all around for certain!  I still love that vibration of love better than any other I have experienced.

I have achieved hope's desires, and known satisfaction through winning a prize, being accepted in a social circle, achieving scholastic honors, being recognized by my colleagues for works done, and have had satisfaction in most of those events.  But thrills are nothing in comparison to a young prince riding a horse down a street, waving his chapeau to the crowd, inhaling a great intake of air when his horse rises into the air, and then feeling the joy rush to his head as he realizes he is loved and admired by his subjects.  I always remember that moment in Louis XIV who truly loved and relished his role as a young prince for the nation of France.  I doubt that anything anywhere will ever surpass that, as the motto means No equal anywhere.  Nothing will ever diminish that joy in the heart of that young prince of Navarre and France.

So for those reasons, I decided to look back at the great moments in my life which could be relived in some future time to know who I am now and why it is that maybe I am to be reborn again and again if that is what all these spiritual journeys prove.  I do know my own life in each lifetime, and it is a lesson learned to have to realize the difference between fame and unknown.  Each has its own rewards and punishments.  My mother once asked me, had you ever been a woman in a past life?  Well, I have not dredge that person up if it is so, but rather offhandedly I say why of course.  I have no memory of any former lifetime where I have actually learned that I had been. My earliest memory is of being a hunter in the day of cromagnon man, and I recall that experience as the most fearful experience that I had had.  Another life also revealed and exposed fear to me, and in both cases, the cause of fear is animals.  In cromagnon man, it was of a saber toothed tiger in which I can see see those huge teeth, and then of a boar rushing through the dense forest area.  In the person of Genghis Khan, I did experience fear when a wall of war elephants came charging at me and my army.  That was seriously frightful.  There is nothing more frightening than wild elephants with intent to kill.  So I have known many emotions in each of these men of the past.  No, no woman has come up to me despite my being a woman now.  I contemplate what all this means.







Thursday, April 14, 2016

Italian Documentary on Alexander

I watched an Italian documentary video featuring Alexander the Great tonight.  Since it was in Italian, I simply watched the photography without understanding any but a few words in Italian.  I did like the actor who portrayed Alexander as he was credible.  The child Alexander was not really very credible but it did not matter.  It was interesting because some scenes immediately took me back into my recollections of the life of Alexander that I had learned while in a self hypnotic trance session.

I recalled many scenes which are not part of the video but which I had undergone, and as I was explaining to myself why it was that there had been little joy in any of that travail in 4 BC it dawned on me what has happened in the course of passing centuries going from one to another, learning which one's do bring joy and happiness, which bring only pain and anguish, etc. to realize how lucky I am to be in this century living the lifestyle that we are so fortunate to enjoy.  So in the end, it was a good experience to see the film and reflect back upon all the events that I had relived in the person of Alexander.

In the end, I decided that I love myself very much after all, a nice thing to conclude after thinking this through.  So for now, I will go to bed, and get a good night's sleep.

I did get a good night's sleep and woke from a very strange dream about a woman who was a musician, a maestro.  That is all I can recall for now but it made me wonder at her....

After thinking about all my experiences years ago when I lived with my parents on Via del Palacio, I realized how important it has been for me to learn of these former experiences that I encountered while trying to learn who am I in previous times.  I have a deeper appreciation of the inner life now than even when I woke up from my trances to realize and remember all that I had experienced then.  I admit at first I was a bit over taken by them since I knew so little about any of them.  It is a very difficult thing to realize that one has truly lived in a different time period under a different name and role in life than the one that one is in at present in this waking world.  It does take a long time to fully understand all of this, as it is a relatively little known and little discussed aspect of our lives.

Today while showering I realized how important it is to me to know that all the circumstances of the present life actually led up to this kind of self discovery.  I admit that people who are too wrapped in themselves are often annoying and of little use to anyone else in society.  In truth, the social order is such that whether we realize it or not, we interact with others to benefit not only ourselves but all of society as a whole.  Any one person is but a single cog in the entire framework of society, even the disabled and non functioning provide employment and opportunity for the able and fully functioning when we work to take care of one another.  So society functions in strange ways with one another.

The problem with my self discovery is that the people who I have encountered in my soul searching are men of significant importance to the world at large so that it appears grandiose and delusional for anyone anywhere to ever assume that they could have been that person in the past life.  I always struggled with this problem since I wan not that overwhelmed by their historical importance, having been a part of the life in which they had lived to know them that well.  Only time has made me see the truth of each of them to their times and to today's times.

At this point in time,  I can make a case for each one of them and their relevance to today, but it took me a long time to learn and know them both from a historical point as well as from the upclose and personal way in which I actually relived aspects of their lives.  So the documentary last night made me realize one thing about Alexander that had always puzzled me until I realized why and it made me so happy to realize that it is all behind me, lives in the past, but is contained in my memory wherever that may be, brain or solar plexus, and that today I lead and live an entirely different kind of lifestyle.

I had never taken any pleasure or joy in Alexander except for a few fleeting moments.  I realized finally why.  I had had joy in the reliving of Louis XIV, probably more joy and pleasure than in any other lifetime, including this one, (except for a few rare moments in this that are especially  beautiful) but I had never felt happiness or pleasure in reliving Alexander.  His life is not one of great ecstasy or beauty, but one of travail, hard work, constant movement, and one battle after another.  One cannot find joy or pleasure in riding horseback at breakneck speeds, at marching with an army, and of constantly climbing walls, dragging war weapons, and managing and manipulating an army of men who have to be fed, clothed, and trained repeatedly over and over again. I had one too many mountain climbs, river crossings, and wounded men to tend to, dead men to bury, and cities to build to fully enjoy any of it.  No wonder that I found little joy there.  To realize that most of my incarnated lives is that of a warrior is a very wearisome recognition....no wonder I said no more when confronted with the aspect of Genghis Khan too.  I said no more at this time, and I have not delved into it.

So for that reason alone, I am grateful for this lifetime to learn this and to appreciate my place in the scheme of life at the moment.  I deserved to rest in peace for some time, and that is how this lifetime has been....
a nice long restful peaceful time with only mountain climbing to unnerve me again!

Do you suppose that I should be so bold to share this except in this blog?  Not on your life!  It will stay here until I decide otherwise.  At this point, I am a bit too candid probably for anyone to read and understand.  However, I have not ever forgotten that were it not for Taylor Caldwell and Jess Stearn I would not be presently aware of myself even.  But because of the fact that I have learned how people who have become attached to famous personalities react , I have learned to keep my own counsel even in posts such as these.

Saturday, April 16, 2016

I am rethinking this now that I have announced that I will not share it.  I do not intend to share it but I do see that I have not really decided whether these soul's journeys are evidence of reincarnation or of having a key to the spiritual world where I can unlock some soul's lives to  relive.  Relive sounds as though only I could do such a thing, and I am a bit protective about it all for that reason.  There is no doubt in my mind that I did return to a soul's place where I entered the soul body of that person and actually relived moments in that entity's life time.  I do believe that an all knowing God can do just that with each one of us,  knowing moments apparently that are of value to know.  I do not attempt to explain this in any way except to say that all material objects are seen as in the moment of the imprint of the soul to make this such that I can recall it or live it through that given entity.  It was clothing and landmarks that give identity to each person.  In Alexander's case, I actually saw so many of his costumes, or armor, what ever it is that you want to call a uniform, a cuirass, or a helmet, but those are the things that helped to identify him as well as the events that I found myself in, such as the speech before the battle of Issus.  I did not know it was Issus until I found a reference to it in a book by Peter Green, but his description matched my memory of looking down from a mountain top to the valley below.

I suspect that it is reincarnation of my soul.  I accept it that way since my original preface or question and been who am I?  So I finally found myself.  But being Alexander the Great, Louis XIV, Genghis Khan, and George Washington is a really tough dose for anyone to swallow to have been any one of them, much less all four, and a few more that I deliberately do not mention.  One has led me to believe that I landed in a place of all souls, and could be an entity able to slip into each one's identity so that makes it even more interesting to me.  god is All.  True God lives in each and every one of us, but just as a river has tributaries, a tree has many branches, a single potato plant has many spuds, on and on, there are many possible reasons as to why this happened to me, and that I am a part of all, just as we each are in our own individual way.  I daresay that I do not relish the idea of anyone being able to assume my physical body today to know how I feel inside and out, but that that privilege is only permitted for me alone to know, no matter how much like others who have the same emotions, fears, hopes,dreams, ambitions, and private secret places within.

So if my soul is each one of these warriors I can and do accept it, and if I am only a special person who can slip in and out of other men's lives, then I honestly must admit that I will try to preserve their right to privacy by not giving away too many inner secrets that I have uncovered. I did speak out about it much too soon, and was a bit too open and honest in my explanations.  Alexander is a man who loved women, and I can testify to that...I do not think that I need go any further.  I have received enough inordinate protests form people who would like to think otherwise. That is their problem. I know better than to give them any satisfaction about that.

George Washington is the sweetest man imaginable,  Nobody can ever know how deep his love for this country really had been except through eye witnesses who testified to it,and to my recollection of it. I came to really love and respect George more than anyone can know, and I, in fact, think that most Americans take this great nation's history too much for granted.  It is a nation whereby responsible citizens can decided laws for themselves, without the father king administering to them. We forget too often at what cost it is that this was given to this century's beneficiaries.