Getting Personal Now

I woke up from a dream today that is really horrible.  It made me think of George Orwell's 1984, and I learned a lesson from it but I disliked it anyway.  I was in a room with other people when suddenly the entire place was overtaken with mice, small, tiny mice that appeared everywhere.  They were covering everything, and while everyone poured out of the room, one old lady lay in a bed but could not get out by herself. I was struggling with the need to get her out and to get out myself. In the end, I left her to get out as they began to overtake me, so I left.  It turned out to be the right thing to do and I did look to find her finally hiding under a blanket still in the bed, but she was safely outside as well.

I pondered this dream, realizing that I had done right by myself, but it nonetheless bothered me to consider that old woman with white hair who could not fend for herself. Yet she did get out.  I did try to find out how but did not ever learn that for all of a sudden the dream changed to bring in an old college friend from the past who was somehow or other with me visiting.  I was so happy to see her but at the same time, it was an awkward moment.

I finally decided that the mice represent all the passwords in our computers, and that they are taking up too much of our time.  I just recently bought a face word protection device for the simple reason that I cannot remember all the individual passwords that I have.

I am thinking that the idea is not to let the internet and computer take up too much of my time or life.

The Election Process

2016 begins the fight between the two major parties for control of the White House.  At last, we see the end of the Democrat's decision to nominate and to elect the first African American Mulatto president.  His two term administration has brought about some changes in the nation, most of which many deplore.

So it is time now for a successor to be found, and both parties are fighting it out to determine which candidate from within their ranks will finally be nominated to take his or her chances on becoming elected to lead the nation in a path that the voting public wishes.

I am at issue with the two party system.  A two party system cannot truly represent the real interests of the American public.  People should not view politics as team sports but as a means by which their own individual states and regional interests are fairly and competently realized through the system.

Republicans have narrowed their party to include only far right conservatives which omits the interests of the moderate and liberal members of the party.  I find that very disturbing.  Each seems to have to pass a Barry Goldwater or Ronald Reagan type test which is essentially dangerous as well as patently stupid.  Most Republicans of the normal range fall into simply small business, whether commercial or farming, and also mainstream America instead of a group of William F. Buckley self centered selfish men.

Democrats likewise no longer represent labor as in previous times thanks to Ronald Reagan, but now seem to embrace a bleeding heart communistic style or socialistic style government where everything is given away free to all the people, penalizing the successful and rich who have earned their profits through hard work and effort.  The Democrats are more insulting than the selfish Republicans who want to keep it all to themselves, naturally.

So that is why I cannot stand either party and think both should be dissolved so that politicians can be free agents, meaning what they say, representing their own regions interests, and frankly beholden only to their constituents instead of the lobbyists and super pacs who now finance and support their special interests both in campaigns and in congress.

I choose to be Independent.  I do believe in freedom above all.  That every aspect of American life should be without government controls, but only those that help the entire nation function as a single unit: highways, bridges, internet, mail, medical, and education, etc.  There is no doubt that the United States should be One whole unit but the governing of the nation needs to be minuscule instead of gigantic.  On that cause, I am for the  libertarians who try to insure that our privacy and our private interests are repeated and supported.

Can any of this change in America take place?  Only if a demand is made for it.  I would hope that it will happen soon.  The future demands that Americans stay true to their own principles, and not be swept away by foolish pie in the sky promises.  There is no such thing as s free lunch for anyone, and there should be no ceilings on individual or group successes and achievements. Let us not dumb down the true American lifestyle, of individual promise.

So while the candidates forward their own cause for election, stay true to the promise of sensible government, realistic government, and sane and decent people to fulfill that demand.

Breakthroughs

I finally learned a lesson tonight that I would have not ever thought.  Some times we do not realize the truth about how it is that we should really be about our ideas and thoughts.  I am very protective because I do not like thinking that people think that we are just easy pickings.

But a professor at Kent State University has been the subject of some discussion this week. Greta Van Susteren mentioned his Facebook on her t.v. show so that I decided to find his Facebook page to see what it is that he has on it that would cause concern.  After finding it, I went through it to find what he has been doing the past few years, and learned a few things that I found very helpful to me.  It also taught me a lesson. I realized that I should not be so dumb about sharing my information after all.

I would explain more but I am going to make a change in the things that I post on my Facebook page from here on out!
  Lesson learned.

I am also following the powerball trying to find a time when I can win it. One of the six did come in tonight that had not yet been called. I think I am ready to start pulling it together now that one a time has finally happened.   It is possible that some may come in as pairs though.

January blues

I have been having a bad case of January letdown for some reason.  I have to bring myself out of this slump, but I am feeling really down in the dumps.  It has nothing to do with anything but myself. I did learn that my cousin Jim who is only 60 has a year to live. He has pancreatic cancer.  He has a tumor the size of an egg that cannot be removed so they are going to use him as an experimental patient with drugs and chemo to extend his life if possible.

Sadly, many people become afflicted with this disease but nobody knows why.  There seems to be no known cause for any form of cancer despite the medics believing that nicotine and cigarettes are cause of lung cancer.  So many smokers do not die from it that it would not necessarily be the real cause.  But if one smokes too many packs in a day I suppose that cancer is a likely result.  

The football games have kept me entertained at home.  The Cardinals game against Green Bay was the most exasperating and exciting game that I have seen, but it was filled with many calls that were annoying to me.  Flags everywhere for all kinds of reasons.  It was exciting because there was no letup when it went into overtime. I was pretty annoyed at that, but the Cards did pull it out at the finish.

I have gone a shopping spree as well and must stop.  But I bought some needed clothes so I do not feel bad about that.  I bought a device to help my aches and pains that is supposed to stretch your spine and help lower back pain.  I actually tried the exercise with my hands to see how it might work until it gets here, and I do maintain that it is helping.  It stretches your back.

The clothing spree was due to a penny sale at Draper and Damon's women's clothing.  Pretty expensive but these were marked down on sale and then an extra item would cost only a penny.  I did buy a pair of suede pants and three tops for a real savings.  But I would not shop there for the regular priced items.  Way too expensive for me.  And by some standards they are considered reasonable in today's market. I am still operating at the level of saving as much as I can.

I am watching my eating habits now to cut down on all the things that have caused me to balloon out.  It is mostly gas but it looks dreadful to me.  A lot of it is excess fat that I must shed now.

I have said it so often but now I am really meaning it.

The Prayer (with lyrics)

The Power Ball Frenzy

What I would do if I won the powerball lottery!

There are 69 numbers from which must choose 5 and 26 numbers from which must select one to finally match the five with the 1 to win the Powerball.

For 19 draws, nobody has yet matched those numbers to the powerball numbers that roll out in sequence from a drum.  So for a small investment, one can temporarily dream of becoming ultra mega rich! Powerful stuff!  All that money!

So if I won, what would I do? Everyone asks.  First, I would be sure that it is true, that I really had the winning numbers, and then I would have to sit down to have a cup of coffee to catch my breath to think now what do I do?  What do you do after you go to the lottery office to check your ticket in, and to be assured that you are going  to be paid this huge lump sum of money?

It is so huge that I cannot fathom how anyone does handle such a win.  It would be extraordinary if only one person won it on their own, but since no one has matched any for so long, it may be only one winner will finally have a matching ticket.

Since there are pools, tonight's news media says that even $1,000 investment won't do much to help you win it.  So when one figures an entire state should cough up a winner, it is surprising when none do.  44 states plus a few other districts participate in this draw.  Nevada does not.  D.C. and Puerto Rico play it so that is a lot of chances for many states.  Odd that it has grown so large but it is a record.

It may go to a billion!  Imagine that!

So what would I do?  I would naturally do all the things that I would do if it were only a million dollars. I would love to win that to be honest.  All it takes is the five picked together but without the powerball.  Can you believe matching that powerball can make such a difference between a million dollars and a billion dollars.  Unreal.

Well, I would buy a house, naturally.  I would share my winnings with my relatives, and end their financial worries.  I would get my health problems immediately resolved.  I would travel, and I would set up my own personal private charities in which I believe. I won't divulge what they are at this moment.

But again, if I have to choose between health and wealth, I will take health everyday!  In the end, health is the most important aspect of our life that makes all of life worthwhile.  Family, friends, and faith are all elements of love that precede even health, but health is YOU in the end.  Some people are healthier than others, and those who are, achieve more due to it. Vitality is the key to good living, having great friends, and making a family!  Mental health determines physical health, and a good optimistic nature does more to make life good than anything else.

But I am old enough to value a win like this if it fell into my lap. I do not believe that it will,, but I did take the chance that I could possibly match it because lord knows, nobody knows what balls will come gliding down the chute to match the numbers.

If I get a sudden inspiration, I still have a day to buy one more ticket if I feel that that is the right one. I noticed something about the numbers I picked tonight.  All based on addresses and apartment numbers.  I used some numbers more than once, and so I am hoping that those numbers do come in.

But for the most part, I do not think that I will pay into the lottery any more than I already have.  Yet, if I win tomorrow night, life will change for me!  Whoever wins it will have a lot of money to play with for the record!

January 4, 2016

Tonight a pizza man helped me to realize that my apartment number is an anagram of 2016.  He was delivering a pizza for 2016 instead of my apartment, and I am not sure now if this is a joke or not. I should have probably said oh yes, how much do I owe you?  But I said no I had not ordered a pizza...Dumb me...He said Oh it is for 2016...It took me a while to figure it out!  Slow at times.

So it goes...I am now wondering what this year means to me that way now!  Will this be a good one or not?

I have resolutions.  I must lose weight and I am trying to stick to my intent.  It is easy to say oh heck, I don't really need to worry, but believe it or not, I want to be slim this time next year and there is only one way that I can do it.  I must watch what I eat. I did go to the store finally after my package from QVC came in.  My beautiful Perricone face is anything but beautiful but I tried the four different bottles and am wondering if I may be allergic to one of them.  I am thinking I may be.  So that will surely change that purchase if it turns out that way.

I sat and listened to Elvis Presley gospel music tonight after a cousin put a song by a child on the Facebook page.  I did not like his singing that song at his age. It is for a person nearing his demise, and I found it inappropriate so I wen to hear how it sounds by Presley. Found a lot of old times songs that I had learned as a child.

Death is something that is hard to fathom. My cousin Jim is suffering pancreatic cancer which cannot be surgically removed.  He will be undergoing chemotherapy.  He has a tumor the size of a golf ball he said on his pancreas.  I suspect that he thinks he is dying since he put a video on the Facebook pages to live life as if you are dying.  I guess he is pondering that.

I think about death all the time too, which is one reason I am trying to get rid of some of my things that have accumulated over time, but I do not think that my time to go is close at hand yet.  My family has a tendency to live long even in illness. My mother luckily did go out fast when it hit her, and that way she did not have to suffer long, but she had been seriously ill for years.  I am thinking about her and our last years together all the time. She always worried about who would take care of me and I would always say not to worry I will take care of myself. I realize now that she was right as I can tell I need help in many things yet.

It is one of the tragedies of age that the body does fail you as time passes.  Cataracts form on the eyes, joints stiffen, hearing diminishes, and the body just sags too much...when all of life is pretty much behind you and you would like to do so much but the body won't allow it, it becomes very annoying.  The mind is find but the aches and pains do affect you, whether it is panicking on a freeway, or a mountain climb, or just walking up the stairs, tripping and falling, old age is a form of punishment to those who live long.  The memory works part time, the desire for socializing fades, and for me the only thing that still encourages me is the chance to travel, to see something new, and to do it while still physically able.  My mother always said that if she had to use  a wheelchair to get around to shoot her..  She knew what she was talking about and very determinedly never let herself get os bad off that she would use a wheelchair.  She probably should have but she was stubbornly fighting it all the way to her final day.

I am thinking about all this now myself.

Church is a social organization as well as a religious house of worship, and many friendships are formed there.  I have not attended a church service in years, and that means of course that i have made no contributions to any fund that churches administer.  It would be easy to get involved and my mother and I both knew that, but neither of us found the need to attend.  I won't belabor it but church is a voluntary act, and belief is a personal matter. I found too many church goers to be the worst in behavior praising themselves so highly while behaving abominably.  I ran into a group of that type once in Los Angeles at a bus stop when they were absolutely so rude and ugly that i have not forgotten that while they continued to brag on their church attendance.  I will never quite forgive them for their sins that way.

So on that note, I am getting into a topic that i do not want to pursue so will close at this time to fix myself some supper.

New Years Day 2016

In another 41 days I will turn 77.  God, no matter what you say, that is old!  But I am fighting the old age status by purchasing Dr. Perricone's facial products designed to reduce, not eliminate, wrinkles on the face.  Now if that sounds vain, it is.  My vanity for my looks is very strong enough to work at this for two years for a given rate of $37 per product in this special package.  It is on its way and I can hardly wait to test it out.  I have had wrinkles all my life, because some are inborn. One comes out of the womb wearing a wrinkle, believe it or not.  So I do not believe for a minute that anything can be done except to hopefully give the skin more collagen and elasticity to appear smoother.  I know how wrinkles become set, and my hands alone demonstrate that. In truth, the fatter one is, the less likely one is to have so many wrinkles cut deep marks into the skin.

I do not want the absence or elimination of wrinkles. I tried a freeze method that did actually work to remove my wrinkles, and I could see how I would look without them for about 8 hours.  It does wear off but it is like novocaine in that the face is paralyzed; and I did not like the feeling at all, nor did I like the removal of my wrinkles.   I learned that I wanted them after all. That youthful face at my age is totally ridiculous to me.

I am also going to try to lose some weight as my ice cream eating binge totally put too many pounds on me since I did not exercise enough to burn it off.  No more ice cream, flour,  and excess sugar for me for this year.  I hope that this time next year I will have achieved some weight loss, not an extraordinary amount but a reasonable amount.

But back to wrinkles. I do not expect much from this product but I am willing to give it a try since  I would be a real challenge for any cosmetic firm to prove that the usage of their product does work. All I can do is try.  But I have always liked wrinkles to be honest. To me, it shows that you laughed, you expressed yourself, and you led a good life!  But I want to see just how much this product will do to change any deepset wrinkles that I have had for years.  I will be honest at least!

Why saving face is so important!  Because it is that which we see first in anybody we meet, and our impressions of them is in their eyes, their appearance, or lack of it, and their smile.  My smile needs help but it is too costly at this time. I will have to have cataracts removed one of these years, not sure when yet.  I probably need new eyewear but
I am doing with what I have for the present.  They work fine so far.