Feelings - Morris Albert

Personal daily life problems

One reason that I continue to write statements is that there are days when I look back to see something that happened years ago, thanks to Facebook memories, and it is a good thing to write or keep a journal of one's thoughts no matter how significant or mundane they may be.

Right now, I am going through very difficult times. I have needed to have my eyes checked for new eyewear but have not yet done it. So when my glass frames broke, it has created a serious need to see an optometrist soon to get new eye wear or to have my cataracts removed.  Very important decision to make correctly now.

I just had a problem with tires on car, got car serviced, where everything went well, and even got an estimate on car's worth or value now if I should decide to sell it. The car registration has come in, and that is another expense that is eating away at me.  I have changed t.v. servers to save money, and am in process of deciding whether to keep wifi or not.

I am sure that having my vision corrected will help my driving the freeways as I think the problem is visual.

But I have yet to find the right person to do the deed. I remember Frank Caserta who told me to remember him when it is time for cataracts to be removed.

Then I had my carpet shampooed which meant moving everything out so that the carpet cleaners could come in. Turns out that most people do not go as far as I did in removing things but I made it easy and simple to do.   But now going through everything to find things to destroy, or give to charity is taking a lot of time. I have a tendency to hold onto things which in case of eyewear was a good thing. I am using an old pair of former prescription glasses.

So I am slowly getting things done but being a snail or turtle is costing me too.  But I can do things only one day at a time, and the heat bothers me so that is a factor too.

A young boy 12 years old died from going hiking in 110 degree weather. What were they thinking?

I stay indoors most of the time.

So now that I have emoted on just my daily problems, I will take a rest. I could go on and on about other things but that will be another post.  All for now.

Recent Events

Personal problems

Last week on Sunday, July 3, I went to Winco shopping for groceries.  When I returned to my car, my computer signaled to me that I had low tires.  I did not know which one for sure, and as it turned out, it was all four tires that were too low. I had noticed when I first entered the car that I thought that they were low, but did not check my status control which might have given me a clue.  At any rate, I took the car to the nearest gas station which is right next door to my apartment. I could not read the gauge and had to ask for help from a nice guy sitting next to me. He was a very nice guy who filled the tires and checked using my tire gauge to make certain that I had enough air.  I was told when I first bought it that the tire pressure is supposed to be 32 pounds.  We got it that high at least, but when I called Chapman, the service man told me 38 to 40.  The computer is giving them o.k. and all are where they are supposed to be.  I was told that the tire pressure is on the door as well. I have not looked yet but I will.

At any rate, I made an appointment to have my car serviced this Monday where they will check the tires as well.  But it sure gave me a scare which I do not like to endure.

I am suspicious as to why all were down.  Maybe it is normal but it nonetheless has made me leary and extra careful.

I asked the young guy who helped me his name, and he told me Issac. I did not give him a tip even but only my gratitude. I had no money on me except to pay for the air for the tires.  I seldom carry cash any more. Luckily, I had $5.00 and it cost me$3.00. just for air.  I will not ever forget this experience.

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Nation wide

All hell broke loose this week when two black men were killed by white police officers. Both were probably unnecessary, and it does look bad for both St. Paul, Minnesota, and Baton Rouge, Louisiana.  Neither deserved to die for their minor infractions but the police appear to be either frightened or trigger happy, or sadistic and cruel and prejudiced against black people.

As a result, in a black lives parade march in Dallas, Texas, some deranged man who hates white people and especially white officers, shot 12 of whom five were killed.  The man who acted alone was killed in a standoff between himself and the police.

This is the talk of the news all week long.  It is a sorry chapter in American current events.

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Politics as Usual

FBI director James Comey appeared before a congressional hearing to demand an explanation for his decision not to charge former Secretary of State Hillary Clinton for mismanaging her emails in which several classified messages were sent or received on her personal server.  He charged her with recklessness and in competence in having the server in her basement, and in mixing business with personal emails but failed to find cause to consider her arrogance and disobedience likely to be held up in a court of law.  He was then interrogated by the committee who essentially made even the FBI interrogation of the former Secretary look as if it were a rather lax and unlawful query at best.  No transcripts were made, no oaths sworn, only a question and answer session upon which he stated she had not lied.  How he could make that assertion is more than anyone can know.  She lies at every turn.  Why be different now I am curious to know.

I think that FBI director James Comey failed his own test since he was not even present for the FBI q and a that his staff conducted.  I found him wanting to say the least.   In my opinion, when she deliberately told someone to clean the heading when it would not go through, that was intent.  She should have been charged for that alone.  However, classified materials are often items that one wonders why anyone would want it classified so since I do not know the contents, I only know that she wanted to receive it, but apparently it could not be sent until the heading was changed or altered.

Now it is up to the public to decide since the Democrats seem to think it a pass for her.  It should not be received that way.  There is a clearcut difference between Democrats and Republicans when it comes to law enforcement in this nation.

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Personal problems again.

I am getting my carpet shampooed on Tuesday, the July 12, and so have been moving everything out of the living room and hall and nook into the bedroom.    This is a job and a half to do. I am sorting things out and trying to rid myself of some junk and excess but it is slow going.

I have also been fighting mosquitos all week long and it makes me angry that they are so tiny and float around to make it difficult to hit them with my spray can.  I am going to spray everything Monday evening to make certain that they are gone after this carpet cleaning venture.  Am worried about the door being open during that process as I do not want bugs coming in after I fumigate the place.

Shopping Spree Frenzy

I am  at a turning point in my life now.  I signed a lease for another year so that I will be here in Mesa for another year at the least.  For some strange reason, I have gone on a shopping spree through HSN and QVC like there is no tomorrow.

Age is the reason and cause for this. One thing is that my passport will expire in 2017 and I must use it before too long or I will be sol.  But I have not made any plans on taking any trip anywhere since I have let my fears take hold of me. I have a flight to LA in September ready but am not sure where I will go or stay when I get there.  I have not let any of my friends in the area even know that I am planning on being there.  My plans are still undefined to do even that much.

I bought two items from QVC for which I am paying for four months...crab cakes from Emeril LaGasse, and Rib loins from Corky's, both of which area  sizable sum but I rationalized buying them on the basis of a simple lunch here in Mesa. I seldom go out for lunch due to the high cost for me.

I did cancel the autoship since I think I will be needing those funds for other purposes but I like both the crab cakes and the loin chops.  the loin chops provide at least two full meals so that is a very good buy for the price. Only $60 including s & h for 3 2 lbs of chops.  Excellent but not easy to heat since I never did get it up to temp on a grill but I suppose it worked in the oven to get to the necessary 160 degrees internal temperature.  I have a tool that tells me the temp.

The crab cakes are delicious but a little too much filler to suit me since another man came on with 80% crabs for $25 less on a special one day, and I more or less wondered what the heck is going on here. Until I got the crab cakes to learn how Emeril's taste, I had no idea.  The crab cakes are delicious but again only 3 oz. for 10 at $100.  $10 a cake is pricey even if half of what he charges at his restaurant.  But they are really delicious.  I wonder what the other guys taste like. To be honest,  I had never found any that I liked at all until I ate those sold by Emeril.  His are worth the price and the time to get.

Then to top it off, I had to order so many things one will wonder at me.  I ordered a poncho from Marla Wynne, and a cashmere sweater from Diane Gilman from HSN. Both are due in today so I will have to write an update after they arrive.  Then HSN had a sale on tablets  from Kindle Amazon Fire that were 2 for $100 so I bought those, and they are due in today also.  I bought a Curtis Stone everything pan that came in yesterday along with some gripsticks that also came in yesterday and have to admit that I needed both and am pleased with both.  I may never have to use my griddle/grill again.  I love the griddle/grill for pancakes and chicken breasts.  The chicken breasts that I make on the grill are the best ever, always moist and delicious.  So I guess I will hang on to the griddle/grill just for the pancakes and chicken breasts and steaks.  It is not a durapan but has the basic nonstick predurapan that Curtis Stone uses in his cookware.

Can you imagine a turtleneck cashmere sweater at $30...or a poncho sweater for $20?  Neither could I !  I could not resist trying it.  So when it gets here, I will see if I did right or wrong to order it.

So since i lowered my checking account by a lot, I have to win either the lottery or a huge exacta or trifecta race this summer. Will not say when.  But dang soon.

Poem from Sonja R of Holland

To the child who couldn’t understand
why nobody could understand.
To the one whose hand was never taken,
whose eyes were never gazed into by
an adult who said,
“I love you.
You are a miracle.
You are holy,
right now and
forever.”

To the one who grew up in the realm of “can’t.”
To you who lived “never enough.”
To the one who came home to no one there, and
there but not home.

To the one who could never understand why
she was being hit
by hands, words, ignorance.

To the one whose innocence was unceremoniously stolen.
To the one who fought back.
To the one who shattered.
To the never not broken one.
To the child who survived.

To the one who was told she was
sinful, bad, ugly.

To the one who didn’t fit.
To she who bucked authority
and challenged the status quo.

To the one who called out
the big people for
lying, hiding and cruelty.

To the one who never stopped loving anyway.

To the child that was forbidden to need.

To the ones whose dreams were crushed
by adults whose dreams were crushed.

To the one whose only friend
was the bursting, budding forest.
To the ones who prayed to the moon,
who sang to the stars
in the secrecy of the night
to keep the darkness at bay.

To the child who saw God
in the bursting sunshine of
dandelion heads
and the whispering
clover leaf.

To the child of light who cannot die,
even when she’s choking
in seven seas of darkness.

To the one love
I am and you are.

You are holy.
I love you.
You are a miracle.
Your life,
your feelings,
your hopes and dreams–
they matter.

Somebody failed you but you will not fail.
Somebody looked in your eyes and saw the sun — blazing — and got scared.
Somebody broke your heart but your love remains perfect.
Somebody lost their dreams and thought you should too,
but you mustn’t.

Somebody told you
that you weren’t
enough
or too much,
but you are
without question
the most perfect
and holy creation of
God’s
own
hands.